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Is he gay if he likes anal massages?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 June 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 21 June 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

i was just curious about something.

been with my partner 2 years, we are really happy together and have high sex drives (we are at it everyday most of the time) the other night he guided my finger up his bum, while he led there masturbating and he cum alot, he obviously really enjoyed it, but he has never tried that before it was the first time he had ever tried something like that, i dont mind as i love trying new things out as we try alot of other things like that, and i was ok doing it, although it was weird at first, he just gets really turned on when i put my finger up his bum, i heard that he could be gay if he enjoys things like that, so when i heard that, i started to worry a bit. what do you think? and is it normal for a boy to enjoy this.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (21 June 2010):

person12345 agony auntLots of guys love this. It's like the male G-spot. Most just aren't willing to experiment because they're worried people will think they're gay. But it's not at all. I've never met a guy who tried it and didn't like it.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (20 June 2010):

Fatherly Advice agony auntyou asked, "is it normal for a boy to enjoy this?"

Any man who has an intact prostate gland might enjoy that. And if it is done carefully there are some health benefits. So go ahead and play just be sure to use protective barriers (ie. gloves). Keep it clean.

There is not gay and straight, there is more of a sliding scale. Some people have no interest in members of their own sex. Some have a little but not sexual. Some are open to any partner, some are only interested in members of their own sex. Apparently your boyfriend has a strong interest in women. There is also a sliding scale on dominance and submissiveness. As well as levels of tolerance for unusual things. Even levels of sex drive or libido. It is usually incorrect to label someone as being specifically one thing. When you do you start making assumptions that may or may not be true.

So to define your boyfriend by this one experience:

We know he likes women.

We know he is willing to experiment.

We know he likes anal pleasure.

We can be pretty sure he is not a homophobe.

He is probably in the middle of the road dominate vs submissive.

He has a fairly high sex drive.

You two seem to share most of those, that is a good sign. Try to quell your fear of homosexuality. Read up on the prostate gland. We are here to help, but there is so much more you could learn on your own.


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A male reader, ForgottenSoul South Africa +, writes (20 June 2010):

Simply the answer is no; the simply fact that he enjoys anal stimulation does not make him gay. Having sexual and emotional feelings beyond those of a platonic nature would give one cause to suspect he is gay, but you must remember that many men do enjoy anal play.

He could still however be gay, of course, but this 'evidence' alone means nothing.

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A female reader, anaphaseii United Kingdom +, writes (20 June 2010):

From Wikipedia:

"During male orgasm, sperm is transmitted from the ductus deferens into the male urethra via the ejaculatory ducts, which lie within the prostate gland.

Some men are able to achieve orgasm solely through stimulation of the prostate gland, such as prostate massage or receptive anal sex."

It's like an equivalent of the female g-spot, if such a place exists. I can understand being a bit uncomfortable with it at first, but try to rid yourself of detrimental stereotypes that interfere with your relationship with him. Keep an open mind :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2010):

this is normal, the g-spot for the male is in his anus.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (20 June 2010):

olderthandirt agony auntNo, not just pressed the prostate at the "correct" moment which led to a big-ol' orgasm. it's probably the equivelant to your g0spot getting "attntion at the "correct" moment. ain't no big deal- Gay folks know about it more than straights but nothing "makes you' gay. Go for it again and enjoy!

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (20 June 2010):

No. Some guys have this fetish. It doesn't mean he's gay at all.

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