A
female
age
30-35,
*ilMissNickie
writes:I've been dating this guy for three months and changes his mind on what he wants every two weeks it seems like. When we started seeing eachother, he was excited yet hesitant to meet my daughter. He met Jess and told me he was unsure of the situation because he wasn't sure he could take the role of her father because she wasn't his. I suggested that we remain friends and so we did for about three weeks before he told me that he really wanted to be with me and was afraid that I would get upset if he made suggestions when it came to my daughter. I told him I was open to suggestions because I know I'm not perfect and I think it would be a great opportunity to become a better parent and once again he got excited and wanted to make us work. About a month later he told me he loved me and couldn't wait for me to meet his mom and friends. I met his mom and dad, his brother and his brother's wife, and their son. He excitedly told me that they all adored me and Jess an were very excited about our relationship. This man is VERY close to his family. He continued to see my daughter and myself on a regular basis and out of the blue only one day after the three of us had a "fantastic day together" (his words). He told me he couldn't do it because he still can't wrap his head around the fact that my daughter isn't his even thought he thinks she's a great kid and he is worried that the feeling will never go away so he ended it. He continued to tell me, exact message, "I gotta tell you though, I dont think I'll find someone as great as you are again. U really are one in a million, and I'll miss you more than you'll ever know....or believe :/It's true though, i just wanted u to know how special I thought u are. From ur goofiness, to the music u liked, to the movies u liked, from ur little facial expressions, to ur kindness/warmth, to how beautiful u are, and of course to how you made me feel when we made love. It's no wonder why everyone always comes back to you."So is he afraid of his feelings and the direction we were headed in or was I being toyed with? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Patriot +, writes (2 February 2011):
He was being honest. Infatuation fear of raising another man's child
A
female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 You have a daughter and he knew this was going to be something that bothered him and the smart thing for him to do was part ways. Their are many man that can accept a women with a family but there are others who can't and its a good thing the relationship ended now. Imagine your life married to him and two children later, he might neglect your daughter and give all his attention to his kids and your daughter might feel unlove,lonely,like a burden so its better that it ended now and I don't beleived he played with your emotions.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 "He told me he couldn't do it because he still can't wrap his head around the fact that my daughter isn't his even thought he thinks she's a great kid and he is worried that the feeling will never go away so he ended it."
I'm inclined to believe that to be the genuine reason, I really don't think you were being toyed with or that he was afraid of his feelings... At least he was honest, but doesn't mean he might not come around to the idea in a few years time... Who knows, but at least you guys departed on good terms.
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