A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:me and my girl have been together for 7 years and she dont show me any affection when i try to have sex with her it's always a problem. what do that mean? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): It's called the "seven year itch" for a reason. At best, it just means that you've plateaued sexually. She may be comfortable with the relationship, but so comfortable with it, that when it comes to sex it's like brushing her teeth. In that case, talk about it. She may just want new sensations, in which case, you'll need her input to solve the problem.At worst, it means she's not emotionally involved and may be re-evaluating the relationship. She may want to move on, but not be ready to admit it to herself or give up a stable relationship with you. In the this case as well, I would talk about it with her.Are you bored with relationship at all?This happens pretty often, even when people do love each other and have been together a long time. I would like to think for your sake it's most likely the first case scenario.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): Something serious, that is for sure. Either a history of some type of abuse or something serious between you is going on currently.
You need professional help to figure this out.
Had a problem like this with my wife, she stopped kissing me, and sex was like a mechanical act. Took a long time to get her to talk about it, and she talked circles around the issue for a long time. But, the truth came out, neglect, abuse, rape, sexual nightmares, hidden drug abuse, etc. A lot more than I ever expected.
But, talking with professional help really made a difference, and I must add that I loved her like there was no tomorrow and still do.
I'm kissed like for real again, I'm sexually satisfied. She no longer uses drugs or drinks in secret.
As I type this, I'm sitting at a desk that has fresh flowers on it, that she puts on it every week when I start my work week, and she can't wait for me to get home every day.
Talk to her, talk long and hard, and with professional help if you can get her to go.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 What it means is; she doesn't want to have sex. Just live with it and find release elsewhere. She may still have deeo feelings for you but unlike men love doesn't equal sex when it comes to the female vision.
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