A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:this isnt really a problem its just a curiosity that needs a little advice. a little back ground first...me and my boyfriend have been going out for about a year and a half now and have been living together for the last seven months. over the next few days im going to be staying at my mothers for a wedding and my boyfriend is joining me in four days time.during this time we have decided that we are going to have minimal/ to maybe no contact what so ever with each other. my boyfriend thinks that its going to be a good idea to not have the contact whilst im away so that we have time to ourselves and have something to talk about when we finally see each other. normally when im away from my boyfriend we will call each other once at nite each day to tell each other whats been going on and the general things. what i think im asking is... is having minimal contact really a good idea? we are not on a break just to make that clear.ive never been in a relationship quite as good as i have now and ive never been as happy as i am with my boyfriend. im just curious to know... why is it maybe neccessary to have the minimal/ no contact? and what would be the good aspects to come out of it? any advice would be great as im a little lost... this is my first serious relationship and i have no clue what this means for us.thank you for your time x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (25 May 2010):
Hey, I don't think it is a bad thing that your boyfriend suggested this. He probably just wants to have a few days to get some space and gather his thoughts.
I think if you are able to go the few days without keeping in any contact with him then he will really miss you and look forward to seeing you. This can definitely make you both feel closer.
Whilst you are not in contact, make sure you occupy your time by doing things. This way it will help you not miss him.
Hope it all works out fine - which I'm sure it will.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 May 2010):
 Why did you not ask him these questions ? It seems the decision was unilateral- he wants to try this NC experiment and you feel your communication is Ok the way it is. So the best person to ask it's your bf : does he want some space ? Is he afraid you'll run out of conversation subjects ? Does he want to see how much you miss each other ?...
I guess the quantity of communication is a very individual decision for every couple.
As for me, the idea of giving and receiving a daily "blow by blow " update on anything it's going on - " I went to the dentist and then Mary called and I ate tuna salad for lunch etc.etc. " makes me simply sick. But I admit I know many couple that find this ritual intimate and reasssuring,
so, whatever works !
The only thing, it has to work for both of you
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