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Is first time sex painful?

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 April 2008) 11 Answers - (Newest, 16 April 2008)
A female Pakistan age 41-50, *brdst writes:

hi

i did not do sex even one time but now i have a lot of need to sex but i can't tell any body so any body tell me if i have not any man with me '

some of my friends told me the first sex is so pain ful so what i can do can i put my finger in my pussy or any thing els can any body tell me.is it realy pain ful??????

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008):

Hi Hunny

Because of the language difference and how hard it is to express yourself I was just wondering if you maybe got abit confused hunny because of the arguing that was going on with the anon answers..Please dont let this put you off talking we are here to help you...If you are worried about pain there are a few things you could try even if you did loose your virginity at 16 and have not had a sexual partner since as it was painfull, I just wondered if this was what you ment but found it hard to explain with the launguage difficulty hunny..

http://dearsugar.com/317740

Here is a link hunny that may help you understand a little more, I hope it is of some help it does hurt a little but everone is different and it all depends also on your partner if he is gentle and takes your needs into account, The most important thing to remember is to be as relaxed as possible, And use lubrication if nessesary and dont be scared to feel and touch your own body to no your own body is a very good thing love...TAKE CARE SWEETHEART WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A female reader, BigSis United Kingdom +, writes (16 April 2008):

BigSis agony auntYou have confused me now, you said in your original question on the 10th of April...

...Quote: "i did not do sex even one time but now i have a lot of need to sex but i can't tell any body so any body tell me if i have not any man with me, some of my friends told me the first sex is so pain ful.....is it realy pain ful??????"

Now you are telling us;

"I lose my virginity in age of 16 and it was painful"

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All i'm going to say here my love is, that I have already given you my story of what my first time was like, and I revealed a very personal thing there ~ with the intentiontion helping you, so I hope this isn't a joke and that you are serious with what you're asking of us.

BigSis x

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A female reader, zbrdst Pakistan +, writes (16 April 2008):

zbrdst is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I lose my virginity in age of 16 and it was painful so what is your story............?????

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (10 April 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntIt might hurt the first time, but if you are older, physically active and have explored your anatomy with fingers and lubrication, it will only be for a little while.

To anon, I personally find DoubleM's advice to be thorough, honest and frank. What more could anyone ask for in an agony aunt? If you find the answers too much to bear, maybe this isn't the site for you? After all, there are many discussions here which are quite graphic.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008):

To the anonymous female reader, stop getting on to him. If you're such a coward that you're not going to even reveal your identity, then that makes DoubleM even more of a man. At least his advice is honest, truthful and helpful! He does not just go around picking arguments with other aunts.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008):

DOUBLEM-inever said anything about virgins i only pointed out your own prifile and replies are freaking the girls out becuase you are such a immature boaster and a creep. you cant even get into the top 100 favirit aunties even tho you posted over 1,000 times what a big stud you are and all them 'friends' you aded they not voting for you either.they only added you out of pity not respect. if you cant mnake the top 100 aunties even when there is only about 3 or 4 posting more than you then you are truly a sad case. you think it becoz us women and most gusy just dont like your stalking dirty old man postings here?

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (10 April 2008):

DoubleM agony auntOne must assume that the anonymous female reader unwilling to provide any identity believes that first time sex is terribly painful for every woman. My stance remains that it is not so and whomever this person may be is a liar. My answers are the best truth that I can possibly offer from more than 45 years of sexual activity and 60 years of living. Unfortunately, some 15-year-old idiots think that they know better.

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (10 April 2008):

DoubleM agony auntTruth is truth.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008):

there is those that talk and those that do doublem. your constant immature braggin about what a great stud you are ttoally creeps most girls here out.i dont mean to be rude but personaly i think youve convinced us that your last lay for a long tyme was your own fist.

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A female reader, BigSis United Kingdom +, writes (10 April 2008):

BigSis agony auntEach woman feels a different type of pain. It can also depend on how tolerant you are of pain. The first time i had intercourse I didn't feel pain enough to scream or even cry in any such agony, I found it to be a pleasurable pain, slight discomfort yes, but not enough to never want to have sex again.

For me it was a long time ago when I lost my virginity, but I do still remember it, and it wasn't anywhere near as bad as i'd been told.

You can try it yourself with one finger at first then two, and see how you feel, you may also want to put a little lubricating jelly, but most times you may even be naturally moist down there, so there may be no need for any.

If you feel the need to ask anything in private, please feel free to send me a private mail and i'll be glad to help you through this.

Take care.

BigSis xXx

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (10 April 2008):

DoubleM agony auntIf you are truly in your upper 20s, or of any mature age, sexual intercourse should not be very painful the first time. In many cultures and even the United States, young women are told of extreme pain to discourage the activity. There is sometimes a small amount of pain at first if a hymen is present and broken, but in my personal experience with at least seven professed virgins, there were no complaints. Many experience very little discomfort at all. Prior masturbation, however, is a good idea in order to explore pleasure zones and sexuality.

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