A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. Here is my problem. My bf of over a year has started to go out drinking with his friends more. It is about once a fortnight. I have just noticed that he is going out more and I feel terribly insecure and wonder if I am being irrational? We have been struggling for a while and now I am wondering if he is going out to someone find someone else. We have been arguing a lot and we are both a bit fed up but we both still love eachother and want to see how it goes and try to make it work. I guess my question is, should I be worried about him being unfaithful? He was unfaithful to a girlfriend once but that was over ten years ago and also there was a girl he was seeing a couple of years ago, and after they had split up we snogged her best friend in front of her at a party because he did not want to get back with her (like a final nail in the coffin type of thing).The thing is I am always insecure that my bfs will be unfaithful to me, and they never are. He has also told me that he wouldn’t be unfaithful to me but I am worried as when he goes out with his friends he gets pretty drunk. The guy he is going out with tonight is single andhe is a terrible flirt, he is a friend of mine too. We don’t live together. Please help, I know my problem seems pretty petty but my insecurities are eating me up and I’m fed up of them.
View related questions:
best friend, drunk, flirt, insecure, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2011): Hi, thanks for your answers. Yeah, i go out alone, I dance and I drink and I am not interested in other men, not like that, so I disagree with one of the answers. I do like to party myself, I am not anti that kind of thing, I was just a little concerned that he seems to be going out more now. I'm going to mention it when I see him later. We have been struggling in our relationship of late and I wonder if he is on the lookout for a new woman.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): I don't think people in a happy relationship need to go out drinking with single, flirtatious friends. It's a situation where cheating can easily occur. People who go out to drink and dance are usually also looking for a partner or a hook up. No one I know continues doing that on their when they're in a monogamous/exclusive relationship. That doesn't mean you can't go out alone, but not in these situations. If you're putting yourself in that situation frequently then you are most likely still considering your options or you may want to cheat on your partner.
He has a history of cheating, he may not have cheated on you, but the history is there. Both of your behavior to his xgf is really concerning and not mature/unkind. So yes I would say you should be insecure, because if he treated her that way he may do that to you at some point. But if you both want to go out that way then you have to live with the insecurity it causes in you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): No, it's not a guy's night, but we both feel it is important for us both to have our night's out with our friends, without each other. Plus I have made other plans for tonight now.
...............................
A
female
reader, largentsgirl89  +, writes (11 March 2011):
 Once every two weeks? That's doesn't seem like a lot to me. Is it a guys night? Are you not allowed to go with him?
...............................
|
