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Instead of talking about our problems he keeps breaking up with me!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 April 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 April 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *jpb15 writes:

Okay so me and my boyfriend have been dating since november the 6th 2010 about 5-6 months now, and we've been through a lot. i suffered an unplanned pregnancy which resulted in me ressucitated on the operating table, ever since he stayed with me through all that, all the past things he keeps bringing them up, like when i was close friends with guys and we were joking he thought it was flirting, we broke up because he said he couldnt trust me, then we got back together because he said he made a mistake, then last night we broke up again saying he gave up and he wouldnt go back on it.

i really love him and hes speaking to me like he's flirting, he told me we can talk but not about getting back together. i love him so much and i cant just give up on everything we've fought for! i dont know what i can do anymore, ive apologised, told him how i feel. but instead of speaking about our problems he gets mad and breaks up with me. i really dunno what to do here :'/ hes the only person ive ever loved... any advice? :/

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A female reader, cupidus Canada +, writes (20 April 2011):

cupidus agony auntYou may feel you've fought through so much you have to hang in there. Which is good, you have staying power.

You love him which is good you have compassion.

He came back even after he said he didn't trust you. Which is good, means he has the ability to forgive.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

Pressure cooking him to rehash the past or push him to come to conclusions is not working for him.

He leaves because either you don't believe what he says or he has trouble expressing his feelings.

You'll have to be patient if you love him, simply saying, I understand you can't discuss this now, will be doing something different.

Can you change your actions and your thinking to allow for some peace? Maybe you're more in love with your image of love and how a RS should act. If so he may be just RS practice, you are young it may look and feel very serious but you probably will have many more great loves in your life. Use this RS as a building block to that progress.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (20 April 2011):

CindyCares agony auntAlas, time to throw the towel. Come on, be objective : you broke up 3 times in 5 months ! , does this sound normal to you ? On and off relationships never work, if you drag it on you'd just have more of the same and it will make you miserable. Some time two people are strongly attracted to each other, but then there are no real bases over which to build a relationship. Maybe he is just young and immature, maybe your personalities do not match- whatever it is, it does not work, and you'd be wiser to cut your losses now.

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