A
female
age
30-35,
*ollisterr
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over a year now but there is this huge problem with our relationship. He has these friends that he is unusually close to that are ALWAYS flirting with him. I told him how i felt about it before but he didn't listen. There's also another friend he has that ever since we started dating has made my life a misery. These people are making it so difficult for me to want to be with him already and now, instead of seeing me christmas and new years, he's going to parties with all three of these people. It's almost the last straw. What should i do? :/
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female
reader, Hollisterr +, writes (23 December 2010):
Hollisterr is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for the advice :) i have decided that i don't want to come second in his life and have given him an ultimatum. Although you guys think i should leave him, it's too difficult so i'm going to let him decide what's more important: Christmas with me or his friends. If he chooses his friends then he is not worth my time. Thankyou for reassuring me that i'm not over reacting x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): U need to break up w/him what r u waiting for he pretty much is saying it to your face that he doesn't realy care about u at all!! Guys don't like weak girls they love girls that take some control u need to show that he doesn't care niether do u. This will catch his attention and if it doesn't he's not the 1 your wasting your time w/ a loser. Your not just a girl that he just met its been a year u r important u should never come 2nd in a mans life u should always be #1. Or you will never be happy. Trust me this is the best way. If your already miserable what's gonna happen in the future the 1st year should be the best part about the relation ship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): And it should be the last straw!
He is NOT treating you as a girlfriend, he is not even treating you as a friend, as it appears you are NOT invited to these parties, or anywhere with him.
If you continue like this, he will just see you as a doormat, sorry, but why you have tolerated him treating you like this for a year, I don't know. The first year should be pretty trouble free in a relationship, it's all the getting to know each other stages, where it grows, you get closer, and a Christmas and New Year would for 99% of couples be spent together.
My guess he is just too young to be in a relationship, he's still in the mode of LOTS of friends, flirting, playing the field, and regardless of what you do, IF he is not wanting to be part of a couple as this time of year, it really doesn't hold much hope for the rest of the year.
Sorry it's not what you want to hear, but seriously, this is not a good sign. My personal opinion, if it were me, I would not tolerate this, and he would be out the back Jack!
Jilly
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): You are very young, do not waste any more of your time with this guy. He is not in love with you, no person in love would rather spend time with their friends then the person they love. Time to start a new
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