A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in a long distance relationship for about 2 months. My boyfriend went away a month ago to study at university,so we only spent the last month together. Since he's been gone we have communication and trust problems as i don't feel i can trust him and day by day we grow apart from each other as i feel he doesn't care about me. Of course he says he does and i know i feel insecure because i am sitting home all day and he goes out a lot and i also know it is in his character to behave like that as he needs to feel independent. But i can't help it, i feel very insecure and jealous and i don't know how to stop it. I also started chatting on the internet with someone else and i feel so bad,i think i am cheating on my boyfriend. I am so stressed please help me, i need advice on what to do.
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insecure, jealous, long distance, the internet, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2012): I have been in a LDR with my boyfriend for about 4 years we both go to different universities. Trust is the key. At first I felt the same as you and I was always stressing out about what he was doing while I wasn't around. But I learned over time not to worry about it because I realized that if he wants to be with me he will stay with me and if he wants to be with someother girl then i will know that he is not the guy that I am ment to be with. This thought set my mind at ease and made our relationship mich more relaxed and happy. I know that this is not ideal, but we are still young and shouldn't take our relationships too seriously right now. You should want to be with him because he makes you happy and don't be afraid to end the relationship it's a great thing to be independant and not have to worry or feel guilty for doing what you want to do. I am pretty sure that I am going to break up with my boyfriend soon, I really miss being independant and I dont feel like he is the guy that I ment to be with, I hope that this gives you the courage to make the right decision that you feel is right for your self! : )
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (30 January 2012):
 You cannot have any relationship with insecurity and jealousy. Having an LDR is impossible to do. IF you can't trust him and feel secure in what he says then you should probably end the relationship till he is back with you.
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