A
female
age
30-35,
*oniqueEE
writes:I've just broken up with my boyfriend of 11 months and it hurts.The breakup was coming for a while, but I put it out of my head because I thought maybe feelings would change and we would want to continue after I left university and he stayed on.We spoke, properly, and he said that his feelings just stopped growing for me in the romantic sense and that he didnt feel enough there to persue it. He asked if I was in love with him and I really didnt know because over the past few months he was changing. I started to see that he didnt want the tie of a girlfriend and loved me more as a friend. Being at a small university he's kinda one of the really popular guys and I know he wants to get back to that idea of doing anything and not being responsible to anyone but himself.I cant lie that this hurts, its painful because part of me thinks that its just me and he could get into another relationship and feel that he does want to be responsible for that person. But I don't want to feel that I have to win, I just dont want to hurt.In some sense I feel that he's removed the mask of me pretending in the relationship and now I should just focus on me and do all the things that make me happy. But he made me happy, I don't know how to live without him, but I don't want to hate him because he couldnt give me something he's not ready to.Really I just need advice from someone who knows neither of us. Can we ever be friends again? Did I do something to make him no longer have feelings for me?What do I do?
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female
reader, YourDestiny11  +, writes (29 March 2010):
 Yeah the hardest part is always not being able to talk to them but just think about how worth it it will be and u may not think so but he will start missing u after 3 days...guaranteed:) just try to keep urself busy and have fun. Have a girls night. Whatever u do just dont have any contact with him cuz if u do then he wont miss u he will just put u on the back burner while he does what he wants and looks for somethin better cuz thats just how guys are. Just keep ur head up and everything will get better.
A
female
reader, MoniqueEE +, writes (29 March 2010):
MoniqueEE is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, thanks guys. Amazing advice, I needed to hear that I didnt do anything wrong, I was worried.
But how do I deal with not hearing from him everyday, or thinking that he's with someone else?
I miss my goodnight calls :(
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A
female
reader, MoniqueEE +, writes (29 March 2010):
MoniqueEE is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, thanks guys. Amazing advice, I needed to hear that I didnt do anything wrong, I was worried.
But how do I deal with not hearing from him everyday, or thinking that he's with someone else?
I miss my goodnight calls :(
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A
female
reader, YourDestiny11 +, writes (28 March 2010):
U didnt do anything wrong.Sometimes couples just grow apart & sometimes they just need a break.If u want 2 be friends then try showing him there r no hard feelings.If u want him back then u need 2 make him miss u.In order 2 do this do not;text him,call him,email him,etc.Avoid seeing him in person especially.Do this for about 2-3 weeks & i promise he will miss u.During these few weeks pamper urself,do whatever u have 2 do 2 keep busy & make urself feel & look good.Here are some things u could do;hangout with ur friends,go out,work out,tan,get ur hair done,get ur nails done,buy some new outfits & just have fun.Then in 2-3 weeks find a way 2 see him in person & when u do go up 2 him with confidence & talk 2 him...tell him how good life is going for u but dont talk 2 much.After about 20 min tell him sorry but u have 2 run.Tell him 2 get a hold of u later & u guys can arrange 2 have dinner or something & catch up.I guarantee u he will be kicking himself in the ass & he will get a hold of u. Good Luck Girly:)
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (28 March 2010):
 You did absolutely nothing wrong, you just grew apart and one day most definitely you will be friends again. When I was at uni I was in love with a boy who ended it because he wanted more freedom and he didn't like having to check in with me all the time. It broke my heart because it wasn't even the uni I wanted to go to, I went there solely so as I wouldn't be separated from him. He dropped me completely, cut me out of his circle and I was left to my own devices. I stayed under my duvet fot two weeks until my female friends came to the rescue. You need to stay strong and yes concentrate on doing the things you like doing and that fill up time. Go out with lots of different friends both male and female. after a while you will feel more empowered I promise you and things will get better. To answer your other question, no you did nothing to make him no longer have feelings for you, he changed not you. you did nothing wrong or nothing different. Do not worry about that point anymore. More than likely he just wanted to sow his wild oats and didn't feel being tied down suited his university persona.
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