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In love with someone who is in love with someone else? (Sticky situation)

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 January 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 12 January 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I apologize if this is too long, but i would appreciate it dearly if you could hear me out and provide me with some advice from your own experiences and such.

I fell in love with a girl two years ago and as much as i would like to call her my "ex", she never really was. We were both in love with each other then but i never asked her to be mine as i had a fear of committing to her. This was out of fear that she would break my heart. I guess i would say it was baggage from a previous relationship. Things turned sour for us after close to a year and she ended the "relationship". Despite this, she still had me hanging on the line until one day i decided to just up and go without a word. There was no closure for us.

Then she met a guy last year and she has been in a relationship with him since. An actual relationship. One that i never gave her and regret to this day. I'm sure she loves him very much but what she doesn't know (or much less care about) is that i love her very much too. We remained friends afterwards, a few months later we started talking again. But i never once said that i still have feelings for her. What i feel horrible about is not letting her know because then she will NEVER know. I have dated a girl since her but even that is over (because i kept comparing her to my ex) and whenever im upset, she just thinks its about that girl and asks me to cheer up. Little does she know im heartbroken over her.

However i dont want to make the mistake of letting her know either because i dont want to loose the friendship we have. I hate the rut im stuck in now. What do you suggest i do?

View related questions: fell in love, heartbroken, my ex

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (12 January 2010):

All you can do is carry on trying to move on. I was in the same situation. Adored a girl, but she loved someone else. Gutting. But I focused on myself, and after a while, met someone else and realized I was well over the other girl. Just keep moving on, and at some point, you'll suddenly realized you have.

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