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In love with much older man over the internet! Will people laugh?

Tagged as: Age differences, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 August 2010) 10 Answers - (Newest, 24 August 2010)
A female Ireland age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hi everyone i am in love with a man over the internet he is so funny sweet and kind he has done alot of work on polling for elections and ive seen him on a tape why he should be elected meaning he isnt a creep he has a good backround etc but my only problem is the fact he is 50 and i am 20 should i go for it or will people laugh at me please help !!!

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (24 August 2010):

I second Oldersister's point.

At your age, being told you're "wise beyond your years" and more of that BS by an older man is just manipulation on their part. Watch out for that, because it simply isn't true, I don't care who you are. It's their way of theoretically closing the age gap. Some people will say about anything to convince you. And if you're that kind of person who holds onto these kind of compliments like a lifeline, you're in for a rough awakening.

Look, I'm all for happiness and love, but at the same time, being infatuated with someone puts you in a very vunerable position. One certain people may want to exploit. Everyone in love is stupid. It's part of the condition. Take some distance, look at the whole picture.

Personally, I think this is a risk not worth taking.

Also, don't use the internet as a means to find a partner. I found that out the hard way: nothing is what it seems in the world wide web. Even genuine people often make themselves come off better because it's tempting and noone is there to correct them. Internet is fun, but unreliable that way.

Go out, get a hobby, a sport, anything. Interact with people face to face. There's a major difference between a normal conversation and an e-mail exchange done by people who carefully weigh their words.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

ok guys i reallly amm confused i thought he was so nice now i feel like a fool i never met him so oh well

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010):

I think you should happily enjoy the experience if no one is being harmed. Are you sure this is really love, given you have never met in person?

Enjoy yourself!

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (24 August 2010):

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You know know as much as you think. You don't know him at all. There are plenty of elected creeps out there. President Clinton cheated on his wife at least 2 times, British Prime Minister John Major cheated on his wife. The French President is embroiled in scandals. And the less said about Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, the better. The list of elected cheats and creeps is endless. I'm not worried about people laughing. I'm worried that you'll go out there, he'll bed you and then tell you to get lost.

You can't judge a person that you've 'seen on tape' and say he's funny and sweet when you've never met him in person. I think this man is more about using you than anything else, and I think you're being a bit naive.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010):

Have you met this guy face to face? If not, meet him in a public place and you can suss him out then... I'm 17, my dad is 50 so going out with him would be like going out with your dad! Yeah he may have 'experience' and all that jazz, but he'd be retired when you are 35 and in your prime! Do you really want that? But its entirely up to you, each to their own I suppose... It just all seems a bit odd though - I'd go for guys more your own age rather than him personally, who knows what he may try...

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A male reader, Pantherfan United States +, writes (24 August 2010):

If he is in any way associated to any sort of public office, I can almost guarantee the last thing he is looking for is a real relationship with someone 30 years younger than he is. Not only for him, but for the people he works for. I see it far more likely that he wants to bed the young girl, not marry the younger woman.

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (24 August 2010):

Well, I will tell you this:

I am your age and I tend to fall for older men as well. (but I'm more in the 30-40 vicinity). The big problem with this is that age is something that cannot be bridged. My mom is this man's age and to be honest, I would have doubts about his intentions (a good background tells you even less than a bad background: there might have been a lot happening under the radar).

Reasons why this is a bad idea:

- this is internet, not real life. Have you met him in person? I mean seeing him on tape would be like me saying Brad Pitt and I would be such a good match judging from the interviews I've seen on TV. Do you see how ridiculous that sounds?

- You're young and naive compared to women closer to his age. You'll be easily manipulated if you don't watch it.

I know you don't want to believe me, but let me tell you a story: it's something I'm not proud of.

I have made the mistake in meeting up with an older guy when I was 18. He is somewhat a TV personality, but he seemed nice and genuine and I was convinced he wouldn't put his reputation at stake. Anyway, I was wrong about him on all counts. The nice e-mails and chat conversations we had turned out to be far from reality. Long story short: he tried to lock me up in the bathroom with him, but luckily enough I saw what he was planning to do and got out of there and literally ran out of his house (he forgot to lock the back door).

I was pretty darn naive back then and you sound like you are too. You don't know what love is. This is not it. Don't be lured into a trap because you might not be as lucky as I was.

So think it over: what respectable 50 year old would be interested in a girl 30 years his junior?

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (24 August 2010):

Well, I will tell you this:

I am your age and I tend to fall for older men as well. (but I'm more in the 30-40 vicinity). The big problem with this is that age is something that cannot be bridged. My mom is this man's age and to be honest, I would have doubts about his intentions (a good background tells you even less than a bad background: there might have been a lot happening under the radar).

Reasons why this is a bad idea:

- this is internet, not real life. Have you met him in person? I mean seeing him on tape would be like me saying Brad Pitt and I would be such a good match judging from the interviews I've seen on TV. Do you see how ridiculous that sounds?

- You're young and naive compared to women closer to his age. You'll be easily manipulated if you don't watch it.

I know you don't want to believe me, but let me tell you a story: it's something I'm not proud of.

I have made the mistake in meeting up with an older guy when I was 18. He is somewhat a TV personality, but he seemed nice and genuine and I was convinced he wouldn't put his reputation at stake. Anyway, I was wrong about him on all counts. The nice e-mails and chat conversations we had turned out to be far from reality. Long story short: he tried to lock me up in the bathroom with him, but luckily enough I saw what he was planning to do and got out of there and literally ran out of his house (he forgot to lock the back door).

I was pretty darn naive back then and you sound like you are too. You don't know what love is. This is not it. Don't be lured into a trap because you might not be as lucky as I was.

So think it over: what respectable 50 year old would be interested in a girl 30 years his junior?

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (24 August 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntI don't know about Ireland but in the USA we have lots of creeps who run for public office and lately it seems that they ALL are.

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A female reader, msvee United States +, writes (24 August 2010):

msvee agony auntYeah if he shows the same interest in you, go for it! You could tell people when you are sure you two are serious. Otherwise, you don't HAVE to tell anyone. Besides, who cares if they laugh as long as you've found the right guy? If they're really friends then they should respect what and who makes you happy. :)

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