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In love with an up and coming drummer..am I just a friend?

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Question - (18 June 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 19 June 2009)
A female Philippines age 36-40, *s. Lori Fallon writes:

i have this friend, i've known of him since 2007. and we only got acquainted this march2009. we started texting each other, chatting, talking on the phone. he is a drummer of this "rising-up" band. so most of the time, i would meet him and hang-out during his gigs. before i got my job, we would constantly meet and hang out. have drinking sessions, talking about music.. we would chat online for hours. i always had a crush on him. and recently, i told him that i like him. i got a response from him, but he only said, " i dont knoe what to say..." all i said was, "dont worry, im not expecting."

from the start, i never expected anything from him. because, he is starting to be famous and he's busy. but he would always have time to talk to me or text me. he would always be the first one to greet me in the morning and he would be the last person to greet me goodnight. i kissed him once, held his hand. we slept next to each other once. (nothing happened) ..it was all innocent sweet nothings. and all of these pushes me to fall for him.

even though i already told him that i like him, he didnt go away. we are still normal mode, i mean, there wasnt any awkwardness between us. the same old, hang outs, talking and stuff. now, i have work, we would only text each other or talk online. i would still go to his gigs on the weekend whenver i can. every gig, he would always give me a kiss on the cheek and a sweet hand shake. i always notice him looking at me, and around other girls, he always chooses to hang at my table.

this confuses me. i really dont know if he likes me back. im too scared to ask him. i did asked him once, but we were drunk. and im sure he cannot remember that night. when i asked him, he answered.. "i think so.."

since im busy with work. he only visits my mind, during break and when i get off. then we would chat and text each other when i get home. the same goes when he's out on a regular gig night.

i dont know what to do. should i keep on staying in this phase of our friendship? or end it? im scared to lose what we have. because eventhough it hurts each night, that i cant tell him what i really feel, i am still happy and a bit contented.

it would be nice, if he can tell me that he even slightly likes me. i dont want to force him.

so.. any insights if he does like me?? or.. am i just a friend?

View related questions: crush, drunk, text

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A female reader, Ms. Lori Fallon Philippines +, writes (19 June 2009):

Ms. Lori Fallon is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks GrimmReality. i appreciate your answer. i'll take your advice and stay in the same zone. Thanks and Cheers!

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A male reader, GrimmReality United States +, writes (18 June 2009):

GrimmReality agony auntoh lets see here....you like a drummer? Rock Band...up and coming...oh yeah this has potential!

NOT!

He is in a rock band for two reasons...to make money and screw hot women. He may in fact like you, but be warned that if he is as Up and Coming as you say he is, that he will be moving on to "greener pastures" in fairly short order.And you will be nothing more than a Stain on his sheets.

I think at this point you are wise to just be friends and see how it develops. I am afraid you will be hurt in the end. It isn't anything against him or you personally, its the nature of the beast when it comes to guys in bands.

Strap a guitar around a guy or put drumsticks into his hand and seemingly normal women will tease their hair up to the moon dress like they are fresh off the Sopranos set and act like a whore just to get a shot at him. And if he is up and coming...they will be all over him all the time...there will be no respite and you will get the shit end of the stick eventually...for it is pretty hard not to succumb when these ladies come on to him night after night.

Guys in bands are good to be friends with...not to have relationships with. So if you want to have all that uncertainty and drama...go for it.

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