A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:im in a long distance relationship he comes for me every wk end we are both widowed he has 6 children i have 5 all grown up it takes him just over an hr to get here then an hr to take me back to his house , he has a son in his 40s living with him works night and asking every day for money off his dad and his dad gives him almost 20 pound a day he doesnt give his dad all the money back the son has asked me for money i pretended i didnt have any money ,will this relationship last
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2013): He may give his son money with great pleasure. It is his money, he is a grown man making his own choices....let him do as he pleases. His son may be taking advantage of him, but it is his choice now to allow that or not. My 17 yr old son only speaks extra kind to me when he wants something. I don't acknowledge that to him, because I LOVE to give to him. He doesn't ask for much, and any chance I have to give to him gives me great pleasure.He sounds like a great man, to drive to collect you every weekend. What a gentleman.Is the 40 yr old son at home a deal breaker for you? That is totally your choice. It is not your responsibility at all but maybe with your wisdom and guidance you could encourage him to finally leave home? It doesn't need to be a deal-breaker... just an issue that needs sorting out.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 June 2013):
 No one can predict based on what you have written if the relationship will last.
If you find the adult child asking for money, and being given money by his parent, unacceptable and your partner does not, then that is a fundamental issue that has to be resolved before the long term can be considered.
If you stay with him and he does NOT agree with you that adult children should support themselves, then either you will have to bite your tongue and accept the situation the way it is or he will have to either do what he does not believe is right by not helping his child to please you or else he will resort to lying to you and slipping the child money behind your back.
The son has asked YOU for money? Have you told his father this? I would as a parent be mortified if my child asked anyone but me for money.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (20 June 2013):
 I would tell the man you are dating that you can't afford to pay his son money, and I would tell the GROWN son to stop asking you for money. He is NOT your responsibility.
Do YOU see yourself with him long term?
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