A
female
age
26-29,
*ikayla5170
writes:I'm a really social person, and I've always tried to chat with girls who are at my lecture. They are basically a group of girls, and they are just not my type, but i have no choice or else I'll just end up alone. I do have lots of other friends but they are outside my uni and some of them aren't in my lecture. I hate the idea of trying to fit in and not acting myself. One of the girls is just rude to me and I'm treating her the way she does, and some of the other girls are welcoming and nice but the others just gives me a rude look and avoid me and never even talk to me. However, the whole guys at my lecture are my friends and i do hang out with them, but sometimes i dislike hanging out with them the whole time and seeming the only girl in their group is just weird. They are flirty, and they approach me the whole time, and they never do that to other girls at my lecture, I'm a tomboy and not to be vain or anything but im physically fit and attractive, and i have a unique artsy style, and i enjoy sports. I always talk to guys about sports, video games, music and art because this is what i actually like talking about, and i do act myself around them, while when im around that group of girls, i just get bored and i feel unwanted, and my self esteem just goes down. What is wrong with these girls? And why some of them act rude to me while I've never even bothered myself talking to them. And guys, how do you feel about it when you notice that a girl is the only girl in a group of guys? Would you think that she's weird and desperate? Although guys always who are always talking to me first and flirting with me, i sometimes do but they end up doing it first anyways. I'm confused and don't know what to do.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (17 February 2016):
 Girls are rude to you because they have mistaken that you thought you are better than them. You are approachable by guys so it's possible you are a boyfriend stealer. There's a segregation of men and women. It doesn't have to be like in Arab countries where men and women form two separate lines in a shop. Men and women are not supposed to mix unless you are dating or married. If not, it raises some eyebrows like what she's doing? She's such a slut. People don't feel comfortable with the androgynous because it's not easily understood. We've always reacted to different by isolating them. If you like things like video games, art and music, then what do common girls like? Dump shit like fashion and celebrities?
I think you need to find a different crowd at uni. It could be a visual arts club or theatre. Either that or be a well rounded person who can talk about anything. Anything can be interesting. It depends on how you look at it. Guys probably think you are cool. Some girls who are jealous of you might tell you that guys like feminine girls, tomboys are "low value" to them and are rarely girlfriend material. Pay no attention to that. Be yourself, and the right guy would love you as who you are. I myself like the idea of being gender fluid. Forced feminine or masculine is very plastic.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 February 2016):
 The best thing that you can do is just be yourself. If these girls don't accept you for who you are well then that is there problem. If they are rude to you I wouldn't bother making an effort with them anyway.
As for hanging out with boys. There is nothing against this. Some girls get on better with boys as friends and vice versa. So if you feel more comfortable being friends with the guys then there should not be a problem with this. If the girls think otherwise then that is there opinions, be the bigger person and ignore peoples drama.
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