A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I wrote on here asking for advice on dating a man with children and where do I fit in at. I’m really starting to think I need to walk away from this situation. I met him for a few hours and he told me his first ex has being diagnosed with cancer then tells me his second ex isn’t stable and may have bipolar. His second ex was ringing him while I was there his daughter was ringing him too about her job. Which I didn’t mind and just accepted this his life. He dropped me off this morning and was supposed to be picking his youngest child up and was making a school run tomorrow as this child’s grandad has died. This child lives three hours away and I’m not sure if this is true. I’m really questioning if all this is true or that he’s just using excuses as to why I rarely see him. I have no children of my own, I have a good job, I’m very independent and lead a busy life of my own. Do I see where it goes or walk away from it? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (7 September 2021):
 I don't think anything is ever going to change, and this time next year you will still have all the issues that you are having now.
The only way things are ever going to change is if you accept the fact that this relationship is not for you and move on.
You do well for yourself, you work hard and try your best in life. You want to be happy, but i feel if you stay in this relationship its going to eventually suck all the happiness out of you.
Do i see where this goes, or walk away from it?. Most certainly walk away from it.
A
female
reader, ConfusedCarrie84 +, writes (6 September 2021):
If a man always says his ex partners were the problem then the problem is actually him. Why would you settle for a man who has children to different women? None that he married.
You'll never be a priority so walk away and save yourself from a piss poor relationship.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (5 September 2021):
 Like I said in my other answer, you two want different things OP
YOU want a BF who WANTS to get to know you and spend time with you, HE wants to "FEEL" like he has a GF. But he doesn't have the time to INVEST in a relationship. So he expects you to works around HIS life. He will be the sun, the kids are Mercury (closest to the sun), then his family and friends are Venus and Earth (#2 and #3 from the sun), then comes his job, which is Mars, then the exes, Jupiter and Saturn and out there FAR FAR away is Neptune which is you. (yes, I left out Uranus on purpose).
"I have a good job, I’m very independent and lead a busy life of my own. "
You sound like a good catch, OP - except perhaps for your taste in men? (or maybe just this one?)
Again, I'll say this. YOU CAN DO BETTER.
You ARE wasting your time on this one. He has too many balls in the air that he can't pay attention to them all. Least of all YOU.
Whether the kid lives 3 hours away, doesn't matter. It should just show you that HE really doesn't HAVE the time to put effort into a relationship with you.
Wish him well, try again with someone else. I'd suggest someone with less "baggage". Which might be harder to come by the older you get and the older the guy you date get. That is reality. That doesn't mean you can't find someone who has his stuff together - kids or not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2021): It depends on whether you are fine to always fit in around his likes and commitments and other people doesnt it. Some would be fine with it, especially if they have a busy life, others would get annoyed, especially if it always looks as if his choices and commitments come before yours and you should change your plans to fit in with him. If it were me and there was no amazing chemistry and he had a history of picking pointless and bad relationship I would end it. Because this is not just about how busy he is it is also about how he has made a lot of poor choices in the past and will do again. He is not "bright", he is not mature. People who get together with someone with bipolar are not bright. They ought to be picking up the signs of it and avoiding those relationships. You now have the opportunity to pick up that this guy is too busy and not bright enough for you - will you?
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