A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was dating my son's father for 3 1/2 years. When i became pregnant in 2007 he said our relationship was over because I wouldn't abort. We moved apart a month prior to the baby arriving. He was excellent and there through my entire labor. He love his son dearly and spends a lot of time with him. He tell me he's been thinking a lot about us not being in separate homes. We've been as intimate as we were when we were living together. I want more and he told me he wasn't mentally ready for a relationship. He says that we are going to have a future together, we even went to the extent to sit down and do a wedding part list. What does that mean when a man tell you that. He think that I'm going to wait until he's ready. I told him that I don't think that we're going to be together and he asked me who was I seeing and what was his name. I'm frustrated with the entire situation. Don't intend on waiting, can't put my life on hold for someone to be ready. I'm 35 and he's 38, neither one of us is getting any younger and life is way to short for me to put myself on hold for another man. I was with my oldest son's father for 13 years. When I ended the relationship he was ready to get married, I turned him down so his cheating self married the woman he's had twins by the yer prior. What should I do in a situation like this, Please help?
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female
reader, busy04 +, writes (22 July 2009):
 You've already answered yourself honey:
"I'm frustrated with the entire situation. Don't intend on waiting, can't put my life on hold for someone to be ready. I'm 35 and he's 38, neither one of us is getting any younger and life is way to short for me to put myself on hold for another man."
You are too old to be involved in his games & he is too old to be playing them. MOVE ON! It is clear that you're serious, and he's not. He already told you he's not ready for a relationship, so why bother? And you are not helping the situation by continuing to offer yourself to him sexually, close yourself up, make some demands.
And did you say he got married? Is he still married? And if he still is: are you nuts?
Do yourself a favor, leave him. Please don't settle, there is someone else out there who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 July 2009):
 I agree with you. You can't put your life on hold for this man.
Forgive me for this, but his loving his son is a different matter than loving you. What I see is that he does want the child, and enjoys having all the benefits with you, but it does not sound like he wants to marry you. He does want, however, to maintain a relationship the way it is now. This is not what you want. Like I said, I agree with you: you can't put your life on hold. I know this is much easier said than done.
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