A
female
age
51-59,
*era
writes:my husband and I live on a road that you have to drive up a steep hill to get to. we have been here 16 months. we both don't like the hill but have put up with it because when we were looking to move this was the only nicest house we came across from any others we looked at. we lived in a horrid one in the same area for 8 months and the landlord did not want to do any work on it at all so we couldn't wait to get out. there are flats where we live but they aren't high rise ones just like houses all built together and this did put me of when we first looked at the house but again because it was the only nicest one we came across we went for it. we have lived in one place years ago for 7 years and another for 5 years and that as been the longest we have stayed put. theres been different reasons why we have left early like the area going down or the neighbours. The neighbour who as been here and lived on the corner from us as gone after 23 months and she was renting her place and another neighbour who sold her house as gone. I don't know how long she was living there for. There is another one up for rent afew doors down from us. its quiet where we live and its clean but im wondering why these neighbours are moving out. my husband said it could be because the neighbour who was there 23 months might of had there rent go up and they cant afford it anymore or because she might not of liked living on the corner where she was or she might of wanted to be nearer the schools for her kids. he said the neighbour who sold her house might of wanted to be near her family with her being older but we just don't know. sometimes I like where we are then other times the hill gets me really down and a cross the way there are neighbours who park there car so it makes it difficult for us to get out of our drive sometimes. we didn't really want to move again until at least 3 years is up because we would have to ask our previous landlord for a reference and she was not a nice person and she might not give us a good one even thou we paid the rent on time and kepted the house in better condition then what it was when we moved into it but sometimes it all gets to me. even if I was out of the area all day and away from the house it would still get me down going up the hill and driving pass the flats. I got jealous of the neighbours who are moving because they are getting away from here and away from the hill. what would anyone else do in my position. stay until the 3 years is up and put up with the hill, flats and neighbour across the way or look to move after Christmas is out of the way. our kids have said we should stay put in one area. my husband is a sales rep so can go anywhere as long as he can cover his area for his job.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2020): In the UK it can be really difficult to find a decent landlord/landlady and a decent place to live. You are automatically restricted in terms of home improvements you can make, so that in itself can sometimes be a bit depressing. Also, a lot of women feel much more tied to the home than men or children do. So, whilst I agree it is really important to listen to your kids and - as a Mum myself - do everything you can to give them a stable home life and a stable school life, it is also important to think of your own needs.My guess - which is just a guess as we don't really have any information about you yourself - is that you are feeling very 'stuck' at the moment and wondering about what the future can hold for you and what some next steps might be. I am taking a guess again and wondering if you are the kind of woman that has difficulty identifying her needs and desires and ends up accepting pretty much anything that is half-way tolerable, only to realise after the 'deed is done' that she's not happy. This is something I recognise - and it may or may not apply to you, I don't know because I'd need to know more about you. But, if you had the kind of upbringing - which countless women have - where you were basically expected to serve other people and not think much about yourself, then you are going to have genuine problems actually knowing yourself and being able to identify what might make you happy BEFORE you take something on.Without support, in childhood and as an adult, in understanding yourself and what you like, it will be almost impossible for you to predict what you want to do. It will only be afterwards that you realise you've made a mistake or are not quite happy.And, as a general rule of thumb EVERYONE - man, woman, child - will find that a single issue or even a cluster of issues will really get to them much more if they DON'T have a 'big plan'. If you have a longer term plan already for your future, and know where you're aiming and what you want, an issue in the present - such as a steep hill, will be much easier for you to deal with because you will know it is temporary.What do you do apart from be in the house or do things for the house eg. food shopping, cleaning etc.? It feels like the real question you are trying to ask us is "How can I decide what to do with my future?" but you are asking it in an indirect way because perhaps no-one has ever encouraged you to think about a future for yourself. If you could tell us more about you and what you do and even what you like, we could help you to start to shape that future and get a different perspective on that damn hill - by the way, I used to live on a really, really steep one, so I totally get where you are coming from, but I was also very stuck and depressed when I moved there, and it was focusing on what I wanted in future that helped me to get away from the hill forever !!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 October 2020):
 Are you by any chance a lady who wrote us before (... the peculiarity in spelling are the very same .. ) , the last time about the birthday celebration which husband, son and daugther were planning for her and which she was not happy about ?... If you are that lady, I'd say , no, don't move. Why ? Well, TBH, because unluckily that person is the kind of Negative Nellie who just must make herself miserable somehow, and if it's not one thing will be another. If you are that lady, alas, I doubt that moving anywhere will give you any joy, because no house or location is ever 100% perfect, and, passed the excitement of the novelty, you'll inevitably end up with seeing the glass half empty , rather than half full, and you'll find plenty of flaws in the new house too.
If you are NOT that same person, ... I guess I'd still listen to your children and stay put. Unless the location, or the look of the house, does really make you miserable, like :can't sleep at night -miserable , otherwise I don't feel that the situation like you describe it warrants the hassle and costs of another move. No place is ever perfect, and unless you are really super- loaded with money , it's difficult one can get her dream house in the ideal neighborhood with the ideal address, size, garden etc. You say your house is nice, you liked it at first sight, the place is quiet and clean.... it's not a dump or an unsafe place, right ? The only drawback is the steep hill, but, frankly, unless you have to climb it back walking , and loaded with heavy groceries, I can't see what's the problem in driving uphill !
Just because some times the neighbours block your driveway ? Oh but that can happen anywhere ! , wherever you go you may find, probably °will° find sooner or later, the guy who's parked
right in front of your entrance - just tell them nicely please not to do that, but if they insist.... have them towed away, pronto- that will be enough as a deterrent.
As for the neighbours leaving, ... you sort of make it sound like mice scurrying away from a plague-infested ship, but as a matter of fact 2 or 3 people moving in a whole street, or neighborhood, is not a lot, and they could have had the most various personal reasons to leave. Maybe they saved enough to buy a house rather than renting, for instance, and that would certainly not mean that they hate the place , or that there's something wrong in it.
Anyway, like Honeypie said, if you do decide to live don't be in a hurry, FIRST seek for another place and make very sure that it is an actual improvement , compared to where you are now.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (8 October 2020):
 I certainly wouldn't move until you have found a place that 1. you can afford, 2. in the area you want to be and 3. have the amenities or situation you want.
At least you are only renting, so that makes it easier to move. But that can also limit the KIND of place you can rent and the neighborhood to live in.
I don't think there is any point to guessing why neighbors have moved out. People move all the time.
I would look and see what else is out there. Maybe your current land lord has other houses?
We were looking to move from the old rental we lived in to another rental but I never thought moving from one small house to another would make a lot of sense. So we have now bought a house. It's easily 3x as big as the previous rental with 4 times the yard. For less a month in mortgage than we paid in rent.
Whether you move or stay, that is something you and your spouse will have to agree on, but if you hate it there, I would look and see what else is out there. And maybe not be in such a hurry to move until you find a place that is right for you.
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