A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am trying to get over my ex-boyfriend who I have been having an affair with for 5 years. He is married and I am engaged. It has been one week since I cut off communication with him. It's really hard b/c I ve known him for 10 years dated on and off b/f we met our partners. I am really sticking to this. Not sure how this site came about, but it has helped alot. Every time I think about responding to his e-mail I remember the pain this has caused me. I need to put my family first. I am in love or lust with this man but I know as time goes by this energy will break btwn the both of us. I don't want to lose him as a friend but probably not a good idea of this. I believe it will only lead us down the same path. Anybody going through or someone that has gone thru it and is over it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionupdate......getting harder it's been 2 weeks and i am going through it.is that person that is going through it too. please help!my life is getting alittle better but i am having a hard time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice..
It's been a week seen I did not reply and it's getting harder but I feel better. I am taking one day at a time.
To the person that is going thru it to we should definately encourage each other so please update on your success as I will too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): Right now I am exactly in the same position as you! How strange. I have been searching everywhere for anything to make me feel better and simply reading your story made me feel better. At least it is not just me that is going through this terrible time.
How I can help, I don't know.... I keep wondering if I need to cut him off completely or if we should keep friendly contact? Your right though, as soon as I think of getting in touch as friends, I know where it would lead and I know how desperately painful the periodic seperations are for me. I know that I will think about him constantly, feel miserable most of the time, have a month of maybe feeling fab, when things are going well and then bam... the pain over again. Going back seems strangely tempting, but I think the reason is that it just provides immediate relief for the pain that we are feeling now, but we should remember that the pain will come back again at some point in the future and we are just delaying the inevitable.
This prevents us from fully investing in other relationships and takes away simple pleasures like enjoying the here and now, instead of always drifting off to a different time and place.
I am considering a complete break, but am worried that I might not be able to pull it off, I really hope I would...
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): I think you are going to have to lose him as a friend, sorry, but you need to cut him completely out of your life for good.I think that is the only way.You will be so glad that you did in the future. You cannot be happy or we would not be hearing from you. Let the whole thing disappear into the past and just move on. Take carexx
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A
female
reader, pink_fairy22  +, writes (3 September 2007):
 Hey, mine isnt exactly the same as that as im alot younger but i was going out with a guy for quite a few months but ended up meeting another guy...who to be honest i was totally mad a bout and had never felt that feeling before... the guy also had a gf but felt the same about me... In the end i had to call things off as i couldnt hurt my bf. In time i have gotten over the other guy its natural to just think less of someone after not spending any time with them... it may seem the impossible at the moment but i promise you after time it gets a whole lot easier. Although i am still friends with this guy :)
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