A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for three years. For these three years, we have been the center of eachothers attention, and have been completely happy up until a few months ago. I reconnected with an old friend, and feel like I have been falling in love with him ever since. I enjoy feeling the butterflies that come from learning someone new, we go out and do things and get along really well. But i cant tell if this is turning into love and a legitimate relationship, or if its just the result of the monotony that has become my boyfriend and my's relationship. As anyone who has been with someone for so long knows, you grow out of the cant wait to see them, lovey dovey, cant get enough of you phase. And its hitting me really hard. I'm scared to be 20 years old and never feel those first in love feelings again. To sum it up, i cant decide whether i should suck it up and get over it (concerning my boyfriend), and accept that no matter how many people i could be with in my life, the completley in love feelings cant last forever with anyone and i would be in this same situation over and over again, so i might as well get used to it now and stay with him. Or...take a chance and try a relationship with someone else, even if it means losing everything i have worked towards with my boyfriend of three years.I need help, i'm tired of hurting both of them with my selfish indecisiveness. I'm so used to thinking of my boyfriends happiness instead of my own for three years, that i cant figure out what will make me happy. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, girl0494 +, writes (8 January 2010):
well first off hun your not self fish. every girl loves those first in love feelings.
what you need to ask your self is, why are you and your current boyfriend together. why do you love him? is there alot between you?
but,, id like to add, there must bee some kind of issue with either your boyfriend or urself. are you guys having problems? are u inseecure? cause sometimes when you are having problems in a relationship you turn to other guys. and some times if your insecure about yourself you want to hear a guy tell you ur beautiful, someone other than your boyfriend perhaps.
a situation like this takes a lot ofthinking. u also have to think about are you ready to settle down? do you want to date a round still?
well i reallly hope i have helped. i have been in a similar situation myself.
and good luck to you :)
A
male
reader, Jager  +, writes (8 January 2010):
maybe you should talk to your boyfriend. You can be involved with your friend so long as you do not break the rules. You are aloud to be friends with a boy go out hang out see movies get coffee or what ever so long as you do not sleep with him. I recommend not kissing him either for as long as you keep to this you can have your cake and eat it.
You feel like this because its new and exciting. You can not jump from one person to another chasing a feeling that will fade every time. You will loose and hurt yourself and others.
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