A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:this girl and i have been friends for a very long time. up until last year, we were really close. what tore us apart was that we drifted apart due to school and work related schedules not working well with the other -- which was fine. But then one day, i found out that she told my guy friend, whom was very in love with me at the time, everything about my sex life with my then boyfriend. My guy friend did not know any of this and it ruined our friendship very much. I guess she felt the need to get back at me for not making time for her or something, not too sure, but anyhow. Every since then -- I've been very weary of telling her things. She's been a good friend as far as being there for me when I needed her the most and she's always given me good advice.. but for the past month, it's just been me calling/texting her and sometimes never getting a returned call/text, or it's me making plans to hang out, or it's just me in general trying. And we were supposed to move out together, but then we didn't because she (after constant nagging of me making sure I had my money) didn't have the money.So, after a long while of seemingly always feeling like I am the only one who keeps this friendship alive -- I just stopped trying. I don't want to talk to this girl about how I feel because she isn't going to be understanding. Last night however, she left a facebook status update, OBVIOUSLY directed towards me, "good friends don't ONLY talk on Facebook, especially when they have each others numbers and live in the same town. the end." I go ignored often when it comes to her phone. My real question is.. Should I just give up? Should I even bother trying to fix this friendship? She's not a bad person, it's just.. I'm tired of it being one sided and I guess I can take a hint when I am not wanted.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@togtog I never said I ignored her phone calls? I said she ignores mine.
@marieclaire you couldn't have put it anymore simpler.
@lil ladyy I really thank you so much. :) You said it!
@CupidLover You're right. Understanding and balance is key to friendships.
@CindyCares I think the fact that I've been her friend since 7th grade is the reason I can't help it.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 May 2010):
 Don't bother, It's not a matter of being good or bad, it's a matter of being compatible and having compatible values abour important things like friendship. A one sided friendship is just a useless drag on your energy.
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A
female
reader, togtog  +, writes (1 May 2010):
If she never phones you, then how is it possible for you to ignore her phone calls when she phones you?
Are you really being honest here?
To me, there is only one reason to be friends with someone, and that is because you like them and enjoy their company.
If you like her, be friends with her. If you don't like her, then don't be friends with her. Simples.
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A
female
reader, CupidLover  +, writes (1 May 2010):
 Look, friends as u know have cardinal rules: understanding,not going after the guy u like/ or were with etc. she is obviously two faced and she is hypocritical and should probably take a look in the mirror before judging u, and taking the time to really listen to how u feel about your friendship together.
From past experiences with friendships with girls,u can never fully trust someone, especially when it comes to ur love life,sex life etc..women get jealous and regardless of how close u are together,one day they flip and start mouthing off about u without thinking with whats left of those brain cells in there.
My advice,keep a distance and even if you do get close again or whatever,don't share too much info with her cause that backfired onto you and could have possibly hurt a friendship u had with a guy.
Goodluck with it all,hope my advice helped :)
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A
female
reader, lil ladyy +, writes (1 May 2010):
 She was out of order telling youre boy mate what she did that shows that she is not a very good friend anyway, when you tell a mate something like that, they should not tell anyone els and if they do it shows there not that much of a good mate and you can not trust them.
Anyway you did try to make the friendship work but she didnt and friendships have to be a to way thing to work soo he putting that on her facebook is childish after you did try.
But i guess people change and in my opion you desere better mates not ones like this that tell your secrets and dont even bother then blame you soo if i was you stop trying your done all you can now its not your fault consentrat on mates that try back as well and taht you can trust .
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