A
female
age
26-29,
jeepsey
writes:I have been in contact with an old boyfriend from high school via email and telephone over the last few months and he has made it clear he is interested in me and would like to meet up. i feel the same about him, he is a really sweet guy and i care a lot about him already. the problem is we are both in relationships, his is two yrs and mine is eight yrs, both live in partners, no children. i am not that happy but i thought i had made my peace with that, but now with this contact with an old flame i am so confused to what to do, i wonder if this is it for me, being with a partner i am not in love with, im only twenty seven and dont know what to do, should i meet up with this guy? he has suggested that he isnt happy in his relationship either, i need advise as there is noone i can talk to. i cant stop thinking about what might be. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sappygirl  + ♥, writes (26 July 2008):
 Don't make the mistake of being in a relationship you are unhappy in. End it. You are way too young to stick around because you are afraid to hurt someone. Trust me..I made that mistake and it ended after 12 years. but i wish i did it sooner.
End your relationship first. Then see what happens with your highschool sweetheart. Sometimes we are afraid to end current relationships because we think there is no one else out there. But there are so many fish in the sea. Be brave. End it if you are unhappy.
A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (24 July 2008):
 Hi hun
I am on board with older sister here. If you see no happy future with your current relationship, then you should end it. You are young, after all with your whole life ahead.
I would proceed carefully with this guy. He could be a player...you just do not know. Email and telephone can hide a lot of stuff that he may want to hide.
Act honorably here if you can. Think about your husband and his wife. People could get hurt.
You do not have to make peace with being unhappy. Leaving an unhappy relatinship takes guts but it is the decent thing to do. If you stay in your relationship and have an affair with this guy...more pain..trust me.
A lot of people..in this day and age...still women fear leaving the financial security that was their marriage. Not a good reason...but a common one none the less.
Good luck hun
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (24 July 2008):
 If you both agree that you aren't happy in your relationships (with no children) then get out of them! Why start out a relationship with a bunch of baggage and obstacles as if relationships weren't difficult enough. No sense sitting around like a couple of spiders waiting to trap flies through your webserver!
Yes, I think you should meet this guy because both your respective partners now can be freed up to be with people who truly love them and not waste anymore of their time.
jeepsey, you are too young to be trapped in an 8yr relationship that you are miserable in that hasn't evolved to marriage/kids. I don't know his deal, he could be a serial cheater for all you or I know.
I doubt your ex flame will relieve you of all your life's burdens and lack of direction but maybe it will be a catalyst for change. Good luck!
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