A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I started dating one year and half ago. However, we've spent most of the relationship as a long distance one since he went to study in another country. After 14 months, he proposed and I said yes. All was magical and I had no regret. However, he had some troubles with his jobs. I knew what the problems were, and when I could help him financially, I did. However, the relationship turned into a friendship. He tells me all the sweet words possible today and next thing you know, tomorrow will ask for help and I will not hear from him until the next financial breakdown. My friends saw me crying, and introduced me to a new guy who is seriously trying to get involved. To make a long story short, I have not told my boyfriend/fiancee about the new guy, and since he has not really contacted me the last 6 weeks only when his in financial need, I decided to avoid him. It is hard to tell him it's over because I still have strong feelings for him, but I want to be the one breaking the news to him since I had introduced him to my family. When things were wrong, I wrote him a letter about our communication issues without mentioning our financial difficulties. He said he will change, but still I hear from him periodically (every 3 days-lapse then every 7 days). I do not want to spend my life with someone who can give me so much pain. How do I tell him it's over? How will I move on even if I can't bear it? I'm still in love but have been crying for weeks? He said he wanted us to be honest with each other...but I find myself loosing trust. The distance has never been an issue until now since we do not communicate...Is there any hope on him changing? He is very emotional when it comes to me, will he handle anything like this? Especially since he still need me...will he take it easily or will he think bad about me?I miss him, his voice, his words…I heard his voice the other day…before that I was confident I was doing the right thing, now….I don't know …I miss him already....want to tell him "I love you", but I know I can't love you and lie to you…and plan on breaking our hearts.I hate lies, I despises them, but I am living one …or not...But feel ashamed because I really do want to tell him what is going on, what is in my mind, I can't just stop everything like this….life goes on…still young and want to enjoy life…but how do I cross the river…Plizz, guide me...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2008): poor baby, i guess you just have to go with your heart, things happen for a reason in life, and its weather or not you choose to take those things and learn from them. Maybe now is not the time for you to be togather, maybe take a break? you dont have to end it all togather, give it time my child! GOODLUCK
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