A
male
age
30-35,
*aptainh
writes:Something has to change. Until now, I didnt understand why I felt so isolated. I would always blame it on a lack of confidence and the 'victim' mentality. I know I'm a really confident person when I want to be.But, what got me thinking was, the other day, a friend said to me that I never really call/text/speak to them. It made me realise that I am guilty of that with lots of people I consider to be friends. Meeting people and putting myself out there is not a problem, it's keeping in contact with people or taking the risk of asking a girl out. I've never had a girlfriend, but it doesn't sit high up on my priorities at the moment. I think maybe it should as means of better understanding myself.But, after things that happened in my childhood, I have had a bad understanding of who I consider to be a friend and have sort of lost track of myself and those friends that're important to me. I feel like I've let things like study or work become more important than nurturing relationships with friends and just go out every now and then. I really do get along with a lot of people and ive understood that better through my time at Uni thus far.Getting my degree, setting up my future and continuing on my journey is important to me, and I guess I've been doing that quietly, behind the scenes a little. But these walls that I've never really understood until now need to be brought down a bit so I can let others in a bit more and be better friend and maybe even boyfriend to a really nice girl at some point soon. Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated. Cheers.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 September 2014):
 I think you would make a great friend. Don't worry too much about how long the friendship would last. Just tell your friend you'd been prioritizing your academics and career. He may be treating it like, "whazzup haven't heard from you" and not expect you to think too deep into this. As you maintain regular contact and do fun things together you may begin to share your childhood stories with him. I still believe most people are kind hearted. A good friend is a person who understands and allows you to retreat into yourself and then getting ready to welcome you back. Everyone is learning how it is to be a friend so you will also have valuable knowledge to share.
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