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Does the guy I've been talking to only like me as a friend?

Tagged as: Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 September 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 10 September 2014)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

So, I'm 18 and the guy I like is 21 and we met on OkCupid. We were a 95% match and when we started talking, we quickly found out that we have TONS of things in common (both nerdy and awkward, love the same music and games, same interests, same sense of humor, we want the same things in relationships, etc.) He always jokes about how similar we are lol.

We started playing video games together and later started to talk on Skype. We talk every single night for weeks on Skype for around 6 hours a night, sending eachother links, talking about anything and everything, talking about deep things, etc. He makes me instantly comfortable (he says I do the same for him) and I've honestly never had a guy care so much about what I have to say.

He's never had a girlfriend before and he has told me that he's worried I won't like him as much because he doesn't have much experience with girls. He's also told me that he gets emotionally attached to people really easily (friends and family included) so he's scared that he'll scare me away by being clingy. He's not really flirty but I think that's because he's never had a girl like him back, so he's not sure how to act. But he's said a few sweet things to me. He doesn't like it when I talk about my exes because he gets a bit jealous (not TOO jealous, though) and says he doesn't like to think about me getting hurt (so I stopped talking about them). He lives an hour away from me and we are going on our first date in a couple days, and he said that "it's totally worth it" and he would "drive 2 hours or more to see me".

He has said that he really likes me but I'm worried he won't like me as much because of how similar we are and he'll only see me as a friend. I don't want to end up like one of his guy friends lol. And I'm worried that talking to me for so long everyday will kill his attraction for me. Plus the fact that he is not super flirty (which could be because he is new at this and scared, but still) Does it sound like I have anything to worry about? I'm starting to have feelings for him...

View related questions: flirt, jealous, my ex, never had a girlfriend, video games

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (10 September 2014):

CindyCares agony aunt No no, it's all smooth sailing, so far. It sounds promising, you are only having stage fright :). Try to see it this way: most ,most probably it will go well also romantically, but if things should not fly in that sense, .. at least you have meet a kindred spirit and a potential friend ( and you can easily bring back the budding flames of your passion down to room temperature, since you haven't known each other a long time or spent a long time together in person ).

He does attempt to flirt, poor kid, just he does it in a clumsy way . " You are totally worth an hour drive ", what kind of a lame compliment is that,lol. OF COURSE you are worth an hour drive !, it's not like crossing an ocean, people drive an hour all the time even to go see some lame new band or to go browse at Home Depot. Yet, he gets good marks for trying :).

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (10 September 2014):

janniepeg agony auntNo I think he wants to date you and he gets attached easily. He may not be what you were used to but give him a chance. It's hard to be flirty on the phone. How he acts in real life can surprise you. He has more to worry than you because of his inexperience but if you are mostly happy when you see him then he will keep seeing you and make longer plans. If you feel that you are talking so long then cut it short, and tell him you like meeting in real life more than just talking. You want to find out within 6 months there is a chance that you two would be living in the same city. But for the first few dates just keep them light and fun. Don't worry about being a guy friend because men don't talk 6 hours on skype. I would say there is very little to worry about this guy because he doesn't have ex issues or any girl breaking his heart. He is pure and whatever you say or do to him will form an imprint of how a romantic relationship should be. I don't see any friendzoning but of course be a good friend to him also. Don't be afraid to be upfront about what you want though.

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