I'm so tired of my selfish man!

A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid,I have been trying to put some money into a savings account but I think my partner knows and he will do everything he can to prevent this. He's always been controlling,selfish and sneaky. There's been time in our relationship where he was so downright nasty and unfair,I considered killing myself. It was confusing because he would seem to be treating me well and he would stand there and say to me "I'm generous to you aren't I"- And then I realised if he bought me something,he would take the money out of our shared account to pay for it. After I mentioned this If he did buy me something he always seemed to try and grapple the money back in some way, and he was always controlling in a sneaky way while doing what he wanted behind my back.I have come to the conclusion that he's just not for me,I can't imagine spending the rest of my life being this unhappy and in disbelief at just how badly someone can behave. I feel like I deserve a man who will be like me in morals and character,someone genuinelly good and decent.I've had quite a hard time in the past with life and all of my exes treated me really badly.my last two relationships were physically abusive.my first abusive relationship lasted 5 years,but I walked out in the second year of the next one a week after he had his hand around my throat and hs fist drawn to hit me. Its almost as if my partner thinks as long as he's not physically abusive then I should be grateful. I said to him the other night that things could be better and he said "yeah they could be worse". I'm working as much as I can and I do everything in the house for both of us including his laundry and dinner. He works a full time job and he wants the hours that he works to be acknowledged by me, but not the money that he earns. I told him last year I wanted to save some money and this year he has been asking me to pay for more and more. It feels like he's trying to prevent me from saving. I'm so tired of trying to appeal to his decent side, we've talked about fairness with money-he's obviously just the way he is, but how can I actually get to save some oez?

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A male reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 February 2011):

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A female reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (24 February 2011):

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2011):

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