A
female
age
30-35,
*ulu55
writes:long story but i hope some people are willing to read it and help me. I appreciate it. I met a guy 2 1/2 months ago and we clicked. Everything about him is wonderful and i felt like it was meant to be...Yes i'm only 18 and he's 20 and it just happened. I met him and we couldn't stop talking. Problem: He is not in college and is working as a painter.(Construction)He says he wants to go back one day but it doesn't really bother me. He makes a decent amount of money and I enjoy being with him. He supports me with school and everything else I do. But my parents do not approve at all. They say that he will only hold me back because his future is already ruined and I should date someone that is in college with me or that will be something in life later on..But it's not my fault that I fell for him. I can't stop dating someone I really like. I've never felt this way before. The sad part is that i wasn't even given a chance to find out what this feeling was...i wasn't given a chance to know him even better. Instead my parents are telling me to cut it off. But i don't, instead i sneak to see him like a child! I'm so furious about this because i'll be 19 in 2 months and by this time i should be able to have control over this and i don't. What should i do? Is it worth going against my parents right now? Are they right that my life will suck with him? Am i just totally wrong on this? No one knows how to answer these questions and I really wish i could hear peoples opinions. I have no idea what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012): "What should i do?"Understand your parents always have good intentions but aren't always right. And as my late mother often said, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "Is it worth going against my parents right now?"Only you can decide. However I can tell you if my college grad father had listened to his family's objections to his dating a very intelligent, loving, stable, mature, moral, funny, self-confident, beautiful young woman who had to go to work full-time immediately after high school to help support her family, then I wouldn't exist. "Are they right that my life will suck with him?"Not for the reasons they want you to believe."Am i just totally wrong on this?"Your parents are well-intentioned, but .....? And as my late mother often said, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 February 2012):
 A college degree does not equal success.
If you like him and he likes you and he treats you well and is gainfully employed, then I see NO problem with it.
My son graduated college and it took him nearly 2 years to find a job in his field... meanwhile my now ex husband got up and went to work every day with his 9th grade education and brought home a paycheck ever week...
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (7 February 2012):
 There are plenty of college graduates without jobs. A degree is no guarantee of success in life. My sister is a school teacher Her Husband manages restaurants. They both have degrees. he isn't working in the area he studied. He is working the job that got him through college. LuLu,The question you are asking is are you looking for a life mate or a meal ticket? Are you marrying this man or are your parents marrying him? There is more to life than making a pile of money.On the other hand I have seen mothers wreck marriages that they didn't approve of for this reason. I'm sure dads do it too. You need to think about how you are going to work out this trouble with your parents long term. I see no reason to wait until you are 19. If you are in college you can be living on your own too. One other thing I feel compelled to mention. Like many people you say that it just happened. And you can't control falling in love. I must say that that is one of the most dangerous false beliefs out there. Successfully married people know that you can control who you fall for because we don't fall outside of the marriage. Controlling your passions is the basis of our civilization. So Don't pass the buck, own your emotions and take responsibility for them.No more Sneaking. Let Mom and Dad know how you feel and that you will be making the final decision about who you marry. Thanks for the advice, but this is my decision in the end.FA
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female
reader, peacelovecandy +, writes (7 February 2012):
 I'm 17 but my parents haven't denied me a boyfriend since I was a lot younger, so I can see how upset you'd be! This may not be good advice, but I think you should just go for it. You're 18, you should be allowed to see him whether or not he goes to college. My boyfriend dropped out of high school his sophomore year. He's very intelligent, but got bullied 24/7 because of his style. He doesn't go to college, and doesn't have his GED. My parents are okay with that because he treats me like gold. Him not attending college shouldn't affect your life at all! As long as he treats you with respect and you truly like him, that's all that should matter. I would try to have a serious talk with your parents, and if that doesn't work out, do what you have to do to keep seeing him. You're right, we can't control who we fall for, so why should your parents control that? Good luck, hope things end up working out between you guys! :)
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