A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I am 26 years old and the baby out of four children. I recently moved interstate with my family for work and a lifestyle change. However, my sister lives over here and is suffering from depression and is very sensitive. Her partner never wanted to marry her, they have an 11 year old daughter and they both treat her like crap. I feel like I am always saying the wrong thing and whenever I do I have to apologise to make her feel better even though I haven't seen any harm in what I have said, or it wasn't even to do with her in the first place. Our family - like others no doubt ;-) is constantly bitching about each other behind their backs and tonight I find out off my sister that after my Husband, two children and I left my Brother's house on Christmas day that they all complained about how we don't look after our children and we waste our money. I have had it. I don't know what to do, I am sick of my sister bringing drama to every occasion because I said or did the wrong thing. Do I move away and get on with my life or do I stay here where all our other family and friends are to put up year after year with her crap.Please help...anyone!!
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female
reader, huneygyrl  +, writes (4 January 2009):
 I really know how you feel when it comes to family issues. We can't change our family but we can improve ourselves by being the bigger person in it. What I mean is...there's no need to move unless that's what you really want or you've discussed that with your husband. Take sometime away, don't call family members, ignore calls...give yourself sometime to mellow with your immediate family, family outtings.
My mom is the baby out of 12, yes...I said 12. She's always there for her siblings but enough is enough. My mom have her own issues, they don't need to add more. She's been to herself, hitting up the gym...doing things on her own and with her immediate family. Plus, spending time with her only grandchild. She talks to her siblings but at a minimum. Keeps that drama down.
Good luck!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009): I think I'd be inclined to ask the people involved in this criticism about your treatment of your kids what exactly they meant. Take them to task about it. As for how you spend your money, that's your business and no-one else's.
You have to be straight with your sister, and treading on eggshells while she's around isn't good. You need to tell her what you've said here and be quite blunt about it. If she can't face a few home truths that's not your problem. Tell her you've had enough of putting up with her crap in whatever way you feel comfortable.
Why should you move just because of her? She needs to know that until she adjusts her attitude you don't much feel like seeing or talking to her if you can't be yourself around her. She also needs to know that you'll look after your kids however you see fit, and if she can't say things to your face she shouldn't be saying them at all.
Thank God you can choose your friends eh?
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