A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been talking to this guy whose in my class (3x a week) for a few weeks now who I'm starting to really like! We went for coffee about a week ago and it was awkward because I was shy. Anyway, all our other interactions after that have been really great, natural and fun. But he hasn't asked me out again/mentioned anything in the future. We talked all day yesterday and he was sending me literally paragraph long messages... yet still no mention of any plans.I've already made out with him a couple of times at a party, but that was alcohol induced (though he only had 3 beers) and at that point (this was before the date)he messaged me telling me he liked me.What's going on ? Is he interested or not?I think I might just be being impatient but it doesn't explain why no mention of future plans or hints at liking me other than those before our coffee date.
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (11 February 2013):
Hi there. It might have something to do with having drunken sex with him at the party.
The situation made it very easy for him to get what he wanted, and he may have lost some respect for you since then.
It could even come down to trust issues for him.
Although he wouldn't probably mention it in so many words.
There isn't really a lot you can do about that, so you will have to be content for now, to simply be friends with him - in whatever capacity that is.
And if he texts you again, and he probably will, don't say anything about going out on another date, or don't mention about the drunken sex at the party either.
Just don't go there at all.
Instead, keep the conversation light and friendly, and let him lead, as far as any suggestions of further dates is concerned.
And if he doesn't mention it, well then don't you either.
You are going to have to leave it up to him to make the decision whether to date you again or not.
You can't suggest it, because it is likely he might start making all kinds of excuses why he can't see you.
This is something which is completely out of your control.
All you can do is be patient, I'm afraid.
And DON'T allow the drunken sex situation to repeat itself.
Because then it might become a friends with benefits relationship, and that's not what you want.
And the way to stop the FWB situation from happening at all is, if he DOES call you to ask you out on another date sometime soon, well then go out by all means, but don't let yourself end up in bed with him.
Because that could almost guarantee it WILL be a Friends With Benefits relationship.
So please be mindful of that.
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