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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I'm quite daunted by the idea of first time sex. I'm almost 22 and still a virgin. Not to mention I hear that women prefer men with experience and are quite turned off of having to 'teach' someone at all. I know there may be 'some' that don't mind, but that's not the view I'm getting from 'many'.I don't want to feel like a fool or a complete loser, embarrassing myself such to such depths of incompetency. The chances of being with another virgin is slim so I'm not holding out for that. I know everybody starts somewhere, but I'm not that much of a 'player' or the kind that would accumulate such experience.Not to mention I know that there's a standard that I'll be measured up to, feeling pathetic next to that is just overkill.
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female
reader, jadena  +, writes (20 January 2010):
Many women like the fact that your not overly experienced. Sometimes two inexperienced people can learn new and exciting things together. If the women has more experience, embrace it, she can teach you just how she wants to be pleased, instead of a pre-set notion of what you think a women wants. Instead of worrying about not being sexually experienced, focus on baby steps, the first kiss, embracing, it will all work out, take care
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (20 January 2010):
 Who ever told you that all women wants a guy with experience is lying. Yes it is nice if he knows the various body part and what goes where, but really I think exploring sex with your partner is way more fun then having sex with a guy who thinks he's got all the right moves and he actually sucks lol
Make sure you let her know. Don't be affraid to look up ideas, just don't believe that "porn sex" is real. It isn't it's fake.
Take your time, not only the first time but EVERY time!
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A
female
reader, carebare  +, writes (20 January 2010):
I lost my virginity to my then-boyfriend who waited 6 months later to tell me that he was also a virgin... And honestly, I was pretty annoyed. It would have been so much more meaningful if he's just told me... And I think it's cute and admirable if a guy, or girl waits because they want it to be with someone they care about and it's nothing to be embarrassed about at all.
Besides, even if you lie about having sex before, your inexperience will show and then she'll wonder why you're so bad in bed. Many women love the idea of teaching.
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A
female
reader, Pineknot +, writes (20 January 2010):
I've never heard a woman complain about meeting a man who's a virgin...matter of fact..I think most women would appreciate that. You can't mess this up unless you over think it so relax and enjoy your first time...quit worrying.
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A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (20 January 2010):
 Yep, yep, yep to all the other comments, ...but thought I would suggest (for the actual intercourse bit) that you might feel a bit more relaxed if you happen to end up with an experienced woman if you get her to go on top the first time. That way you can kinda just lie/sit back without too much pressure on you, and let her run the show. You'll feel more confident once you get past that first hurdle:-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): It's really not as bad as you think! Women with a lot of experience will have seen that in the beginning, sex with each new partner generally isn't fantastic as you both need to work out what the other likes.. you're willing to listen and try what they like, they'll think you're great! And for a less experienced woman, you can discover things together.
Anyway, your situation isn't as unusual as you think - I'm doing a study of 10 000 people for my work and I've found that 14 % of 22 year old men and 11 % of women are virgins. I guess they just don't admit it to their peers very often (unless it's anonymous!)
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (20 January 2010):
 I've been with one virgin and he did pretty well. He seemed embarrassed and awkward. I don't see him as a loser. You didn't mention if you want a relationship or not, but women who look down on virgins aren't the kind you want anyway. Chances with another virgin is not slim, if you read other posts here you will see. There just seem to be more girls making fun of virgin guys than there are girls telling people they are still virgins. Having a training session with a willing stranger does not make you a player. A player is someone who pretends to be serious to get a girl in bed but end up hurting her.
Be sure to turn a woman on before the action. Don't focus too much on the entree. Be playful, sensual, dirty, and enjoy each sensation and every inch of a woman's body.
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