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I'm pregnant with my stepbrother's baby. How do we tell our parents?

Tagged as: Family, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 March 2021) 7 Answers - (Newest, 27 March 2021)
A female United States age 41-50, *ocky521 writes:

Dear cupid,

I am in desperate need of some advice. My boyfriend and I are pregnant. Now here's the problem. My boyfriend is my step brother. Even worse we live directly above our parents. Its a separate apartment. Now we've had feelings ever since we saw each other 10-15 years ago but never acted on it. We went our separate ways, lived our lives, even had children. Until recently when we both happen to be completely down on our luck. I didn't even know he was staying at our parents until i called him just trying to vent and told him i had nowhere to go. He told me to come here, i said where is here?.. He told me at our parents.. So i went and 2 months later were pregnant. How do we tell our parents without them disowning us???? We really love each other and want to keep it..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2021):

How do you tell them... well I think the two of you have to do it together, face to face. What other options are there? Not really something you can send them in a text or email. Never know, they might be happy for you once the shock wears off. The sooner you do it, the quicker you can stop worrying about it.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 March 2021):

Honeypie agony auntI think the sooner the better.

I want to say this though, and not to kick you while you are down but WHAT were you thinking to have unprotected sex when you are both financially in the crapper?

You and your stepbrother/partner need to sit down and make a plan for HOW to get on your feet (both of you) to get jobs and a place of your own. There is a kid coming.

It is a LOT less important what your parents think and MORe important that you two find some independence and self-reliance.

Make a plan, show your parents that you two can be responsible adults, and get on with life.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (26 March 2021):

kenny agony auntYou are both of an age now where you are not youngsters anymore, and your parents are more advanced in years also.

I think honesty is the best policy, and the best thing that you can do is tell them you are pregnant, and I would do this sooner rather than later, the longer you leave it the harder it will get.

Tell them you both really love each other and want to make this work. I'm sure they will be happy for you.

If by some slim chance they are not happy with this then alternative accommodation may have to sought. But I think all in all things will be ok, its their grandchild after all.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2021):

If you don't share a father or mother then you are not blood relatives, then I don't see any harm coming to anyone. Unusual yes but no harm. Maybe you will have to move out from your parents building just to avoid gossip.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2021):

They just might be very happy to be grandma and grandpa.But again they may not and t

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2021):

P.S.

Sweetheart, the sooner you get this off your mind the better! Just be straightforward and let the chips fall where they may!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2021):

Relax, my dear! This isn't that controversial. The longer you wait, the more obvious the fact you're pregnant will be!

You're two consenting adults. Your parents aren't fooled about how you feel about each-other. If you think you've kept your relationship a secret living directly above your parents, exactly who do you think you're fooling?

Just tell them. There's nothing they can really do about it. Even if they're shocked and appalled; they'll have to come to grips with the facts. Try to calm yourself. Nothing works but the truth. They probably won't be surprised, and there's nothing they can do about it.

They're going to be grandparents. The child is innocent in all this; regardless of how your parents might feel about it. Hope for the best, and emotionally prepare for the worst. That's what you'd have to do in any given situation.

If you were biological-siblings, now that's both controversial and immoral! That's when you should be concerned about the legal and moral ramifications!

Tell them, then get-on with your lives. If they make a stink, move.

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