A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am so confused and lost. I had a huge crush on my teacher last year! Like borderline obsessive. He was so sweet and kind to me, and we were around eachother in a close environment. These feelings just kept growing and growing. They got out of control after I graduated in May. I no longer got to see him daily, just him and I. It was like I was in withdrawal from a drug, no joke. I was so obsessed. I stopped eating in June for weeks. I was starving, but I could not make myself eat. I felt so depressed. I craved those few moments that I would get to see him over the summer. I would go places, purposely to see him. I know I lost control over myself over the summer. I started to get over him in August, and by the end of that month I didn't like him anymore. I thought that college would change everything even more, he wouldn't even be on my radar. The opposite has seemed to happen. He's always on my mind. He's exactly what I want in a man. I feel like a crazy person. What should I do to stop thinking about him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010): I agree with Tisha. Go for counseling. It would help a great deal with it.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 October 2010):
 Please take yourself to the mental health clinic that your college has, this sounds like you have some obsessive/compulsive disorder issues and will probably benefit from some professional counseling, therapy, possibly even medication.
Alternatively, please see your doctor for an evaluation. If this is interfering with your daily life and is something that isn't going away, you will need professional help.
The aunts here at DearCupid cannot diagnose or treat you, and I hope you understand that your question indicates that you require more help than a well-meaning but untrained amateur agony aunt can provide.
Best wishes for college and your future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010): You're so young!
Well, in my late twenties I am infatuated with a man in the same way who is sweet, capable, helpful and is a great great, person. I haven't met him for a week now and yet, everyday my affection for him is growing. Like in your case, I never met him everyday for the last year. I never stopped eating or had lack of sleep because I was infatuated. I do wish to let him know that I love him. But why would I spoil a relation I am having now, why would I destroy the beauty of it? If he can take the hint, well and good.
And even with my obsession, I am in touch with him knowing that in a few months he would move away, have a family and have a great career for which I unselfishly prayed for him even today! Not that it won't hurt but it has its own beauty by not expressing it. So everyday I assure myself that he is not for you and you're not for him and you need not get hurt when he gets to know of his marriage.
I think the only difference between us is that I love him without having a condition to have him or to let him know and it doesn't affect me other than my thinking about him which is voluntary. So honey, I ask you to do the same. You are quite young to say that 'he's exactly what I want in a man' because in a few years time your criteria would change and you'd stop liking him.
For now, try not to think deliberately of him. If thoughts come in do not push them away. Just not entertain them. Keep admiring him for what he is unconditionally while being open to the vagaries of life.
Good luck!
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