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I’m not sure what to do about these feelings I’ve developed for her! What do I do?

Tagged as: Crushes, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 July 2018) 1 Answers - (Newest, 31 July 2018)
A male United States age 22-25, *allacebee writes:

Sorry in advance for the novel. I (21M) started getting really close to my supervisor (24F) at work last summer. As we worked together more and more, she would flirt a little, and I would just act casual. I even remember one instance where she leaned against my arm and put her head against my shoulder while we were writing up some reports. I definitely felt something toward her too but I'd always kinda just not acknowledge it because of how....weird it felt to me and plus I was dating someone else at the time (which TANKED last October).

I ended up getting promoted to what is basically her assistant supervisor and we started getting even closer. Heck, during the Christmas party we were pretty much joined at the hip. Again, I never really acted on things but this time it was because I was just overall numb to everything from an awful breakup and basically losing all of my old friends from the resulting grief/depression/rut/whatever you wanna call it.

Now, I'm past all of that, and of course we've been spending more time at work together due to a bunch of new-hires that we've been working together to train. But now, she's moving on to different and better things career-wise and will be flying out to different states for different stretches of time and returning back here in the interim. I couldn't be more proud of her but also I'm gonna miss her like crazy. That's already a given.

What isn't, however is how I really feel about her. Last night we had a little goodbye dinner and it was a wonderful, wonderful time but it's really bringing forth different things I'm feeling. TBH I have no idea at all because it's just so much at once. I don't know if I'm just hurting because I'm gonna miss her, or if I actually have these deeper feelings. I have no idea if she feels the same or if I'm just heavily projecting due to how emotional the goodbye has been. And I definitely don't want to look like an idiot if I were to say something then realize that none of these feelings are true. I really really don't know what to do and I'm running out of time before she leaves

View related questions: at work, christmas, flirt

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2018):

Your crises is not as bad as it looks because she will be returning from time to time.

You could suggest to her staying in touch via face book as she will have so much to say about being abroad.

You could chat on whatsapp also so call her up before she goes but dont go overboard as she will be meeting new guys in her new role.

You could suggest going for a goodbye drink but no bedding this lady as now is not the correct time.

Most women are flattered by younger men being friendly so if you dont declare your love for her but just stay friendly you will be ok.

Nothing to stop you sending her a card "To a fabuous collegue..I shall miss our little chats at work! "

If she says stuff like "My boyfriend will be jealous if I do!" etc then you will know that she's already spoken for.

Now is the time to take cold showers and to keep it platonic or you will both be eating your hearts out.

Dont forget you get your chance to romance her when she isnt flying around but grounded.

Also if you play the "I'm in love with you card" it will backfire because it will just become another problem to sort out so your best bet is to get in touch or speak to her somehow in a very friendly way.

You could start with "I hope this place doesn't fall to bits without you!"

Or go lateral and tell her you have a fabulous idea for doing up the office and you want her opinion.

It doesnt matter if its doable because its just a conversation opener and could be anything from new plants to waterfountains which are doable out of your own pocket.

Just keep it on a level where she is interested to know what happened next so that she sees you on an equal footing.

If none of that works at all then get on with the job as that always has to stand up to scrutiny anyway.

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