A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Here's the thing... my fiance and I have been together for a year and a half, and have lived together for a year. We are planning on getting married in October on our 2 year anniversary. But... I have many doubts about marrying him. It's not wedding stress, because we're basically eloping. He irritates me quite frequently, and not because he does anything really "wrong", I just get irritated.I don't like to kiss him, hug him, or even sit next to him. But I know I love him because he is very good to me, and when he has tried to leave before I had a meltdown and begged him not to go. But I think it might be the thought of change that upset me more than him actually leaving. And I hate the thought of him having to move back in with his parents, and me trying to pay for my house by myself. (I often feel the need to "save" guys I date from their bad situations. It's a curse). He treats me like a princess, but I don't feel like a princess with him. I feel like I might be settling so I can make him happy. I go back and forth so much, I really need some outside help. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 May 2011):
 If you have doubts, then you shouldn't marry anyone.
A
female
reader, turtle escape +, writes (13 May 2011):
I think you should never marry someone you dont love. I definetly dont think you really love him I think its more of an obsession with helping him. You need to worry about yourself and no one else. The fact that you cant even bear to be next to him is definetly a red flag in my opinion. Dont hurt this poor guy by leading him on.
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (13 May 2011):
 Maybe you should postpone the wedding and work on your relationship. I think marriage at this point could be a bad idea.
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A
male
reader, zcgby678  +, writes (13 May 2011):
You have a commitment problem. The idea of settling for this one disturbs you. There is nothing wrong with this guy but you want more. Trouble is you don't know what you want. Let this poor guy go and find yourself. You are not ready to 'save' anyone. You want every guy in the world to be saved by you. That is unrealistic. The sooner you accept that, the better for everybody.
Bottom line you don't love this guy but you want the sense of 'security' he gives you.
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