A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so ive been dating my boyfriend for about almost a full 4 months and we kiss and stuff but to be honost he has almost no sexual interest. He will put his arms around me but he wont touch me or anything. I mean jsut last week we were at my house and we sat there for 7 hours by our selves and he didnt try anything. Now we could have made out or anything HE wanted to do but instead he wanted to clean the kichen, eat, and watch a movie. Is he scared to or am i not attractive enough for him to get "sexualy arrosed" by me looks. I dont know what to do or to say to him. I too afriad to, i think if i say somethink he might feel pressured into doing something or worse think I'm a sex freak and all i want it to do it and its not that its just i want to feel more...wanted. Ladies you know what i mean! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (13 May 2008):
Perhaps he just cares about you as a friend more than a girlfriend?
That doesn't mean you aren't attractive, it just means he has fallen into this comfy relationship and isn't bothered by the lack of spark.
Do you dress up to show yourself off when you meet up with him? Do you ever send out "kiss me!" signals. Maybe he just isn't getting the vibe from you and is keeping his distance in respect.
Next time you see him and you have the opportunity, then dress up really nicely and be a bit more flirty and see what happens. If he still has no interest then maybe you need to sit him down and ask what's wrong.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, dreamingwithabrokenheart  +, writes (13 May 2008):
 I wouldn't be so quick to assume that it is your problem..
Maybe he does not find you physically attractive..I doubt this is the case though.
More likely is that he's just inexperienced or shy around women. Even some guys who seem like they would be Don Juans are really inexperienced or just freeze up around girls no matter how much experience they've had.
You could try asking him how experienced he is (or just turn on "Are you experienced?" and let Jimmy Hendrix do the talking) and use his reply as an indication. Maybe he wants you to take the initiative?
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (13 May 2008):
 Many young guys, even older men, are a bit or way too shy to "come on" to a girl too fast or strong for several reasons - mostly related to fear. We don't want to scare-off our prospective love or lover by coming-on-too-fast, and we fear being rejected. If your guy at least asked you out to begin with, he showed a bit of courage. But now, if you might like him to go farther, he probably just needs some hint of encouragement. You can be subtle - place your hand on his leg, touch him more, wrap you arm in his, brush your breast against him - things like that. Just don't expect every young man to know that you may be ready for more without a bit of a hint.
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A
female
reader, mandita +, writes (13 May 2008):
Is it possible he could be a virgin?
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