A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:i am nervous about seeing a show with my parent's friends because I don't know them and never seen them before. I'm nervous because i'm afraid that they might talk bad about me, criticize me, laugh at me. What should I do? Since my parents told me that 10 people are coming to see the show with us, now I don't feel like going. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia + ♥, writes (12 July 2008):
 Hey sweet,
Yes, I too think that maybe you were interpreting the situation wrong, or there was a misunderstanding. Do any of these people have any previous experiences with you? Most people don't just talk bad about someone they've just met and had no bad experiences with.
Even if they were talking about you, they're jerks and have sad, pathetic lives if they're really wasting nice time talking bad about a teenager.
I agree that you should talk to your parents and ask them if they thought the evening went well. Ask them if they think people liked you. I'll bet your parents will give you a little reassurance.
Anyway, the night is over now, you did well and now you don't have to stress about it!
xx India
A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (12 July 2008):
 Don't you think there may be a possibility they may not have been talking about you?
When we are really self conscious about how we are coming off, it can make you feel like you must be the center of attention- everyone looking at you or talking about you.
It's like having a stain on your blouse, you think everyone notices it so you are hyper aware.
Yes, adults gossip but rarely about kids, mainly about other adults. Sometimes when people don't know you well and are trying to get a better idea about you, they may look at you briefly like a sideways glance and this could be interpreted as disapproval. Believe it or not, adults can be insecure and shy as well and many of them don't know how to talk to teens.
I'm not sure why they didn't return your greeting, I do find that odd if they in fact, did hear you and intentionally blew you off. I can't recall meeting anyone that has been that blatantly rude.
I would actually ask your parents and see what there take on the situation was, it may give you a different perspective. When you go through life without feedback, it can make you very paranoid and it can be difficult to build the right social skills.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank You for all of your great responses. I just got back from seeing the show. It was awesome. I ate dinner with the 10 people. I was very polite and kind. However, some of the people were not very nice to me. Couple of the people gave me dirty looks, and didn't care to greet me. I actually greeted them but they didn't care to greet back or look at me. I don't know why they are acting this way towards me. I acted very polite,I was mostly quiet, and being myself. One of the females that shot me various dirty looks actually gossiped about me to her husband! Such as saying hostile things about me.I didn't do anything wrong to her, and the people at the dinner. This female does not even know me. I thought that was very rude of what she did. I didn't feel comfortable when I ate with them because of what I experienced.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker  + ♥, writes (9 July 2008):
 Firstly, it really doesn't matter what your parents' friends think about you or say about you. We're a funny lot, adults, but as long as you don't start swearing, shouting or doing the most embarrassing things in public then I'm quite sure they won't dislike you!
Secondly, the general rule that I found best when I was a teenager was that if you're not sure what to say then say nothing, and if you do that then they'll all go away saying to each other what a nice, well behaved young lady you are.
Chill. Enjoy it.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia + ♥, writes (9 July 2008):
As long as you don't act like the last place in the world you want to be is with your parents friends, you'll be fine. Seriously, adults are impressed by any teenager with a somewhat sunny disposition because they're so few and far between! Just smile, be polite and enjoy the show.
Don't worry about people judging you or anything, they're just there to enjoy themselves. The only way they'd judge you is if you were rude all night - then you'd leave them with a bad impression. But if you just keep it cool and relaxed, everyone will be happy to have you around!
So, relax, be sweet and have fun! No worries!
xx India
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (9 July 2008):
You are going to be just fine. It's even okay if you are shy and don't say much, adults understand. Plus, teenagers don't like to hang out with parents so as long as you aren't rude, they won't think anything of it. No one is going to laugh or criticize you. When I was your age, teachers hated me and I would get switched around a lot from class to class because I was disruptive. Adults started to like me once I stopped talking all the time and started acting appropriate. I learned to just keep my mouth shut and smile if I suspected I was going to start causing problems or if I felt tension. I still do that today and it works!
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A
female
reader, Tremor  + ♥, writes (9 July 2008):
 You seem to think that your parents friends are going to act like teenagers.
These people are adults - it's highly unlikely that they'll criticize, bad-mouth or laugh at you. Odds are, they'll ask you a couple of questions about yourself and then just talk to your folks.
Relax, be yourself, and enjoy being taken out. I really wouldn't fret about it.
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