A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey. ok ive been in a relationship 4 a while and we both quite serious now he has started talking about having babys which is fine in our culture and everyone does it it is the accepted thing.but i dont want to im afraid to tell him so, it is a sign that he loves me very much and that he cares cause once u have babys then we see each other for life cause he still has to support us.but im not ready i may sound selfish but i dont wanto have babys yet i still wanna try finish my carrier and if i have babys it will be put on hold and i dont want that to happen. i know i sound selfish but thats how i feel and i cant talk to anyone here because theyll just yell at me and say that my thoughts are immoral and that it is my duty to the person who i love. and i do love him alot but im not ready and i am afraid to tell him cause i dont wanto lose him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chikk  +, writes (15 February 2011):
hi,
never think you are selfish for not wanting a baby...you want to be ready for it right??
i was 17 when i had my baby who is 6 soon, but i made that choice i wanted to, now some may critize that but i have a very well mannered behaived little boy.
some choose to have babies younger in life and others older in life so long as that child is brought up well what does it matter, dont get me wrong i dont always agree in teenage pregnancy nor do i over 50 but its down to the individual. everyone has opinions but not all of them count. xx
A
male
reader, Kevin1989 +, writes (15 February 2011):
Of course it's not selfish
You have to be able to support your baby
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A
female
reader, Lovers Mist  +, writes (15 February 2011):
You are'nt selfish at all. Babies are blessings but at the same time they are huge responsibilities. I strongly suggest u have kids on your own time when you are ready.I think getting your career started is a great idea if he loves u and plan on being around then whats the rush.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (15 February 2011):
 It's always a very good idea to finish your career before babies, no matter what culture you are in. Especially for a woman. this is what will make you independant in y our own right. Even though the idea of having babies and being in a permanent relationship for life with that is great, it's not always realistic and if you end up alone some day you will be able to provide for you and your child because of your career prospects. Try to explain this to your husband how important this issue is for you. if he really loves you he will compromise and not be swayed by others.
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