A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I just had my 30th birthday last week, and it's a shock to reach that age where you have to feel ashamed of how old you are. I'm not ready to be a middle aged old bag. I wish and wish I were a young girl again. I've been extremely depressed, and I desperately want to confide in someone or tell a friend how I feel, but I don't want to bring them down. I can't change it, but all I can think about is how I wish and wish I were younger. I'd give anything I have just to be 28 or 29 again.I can't believe my youth is over forever! There are so many things I'll never do now. Little things, things that shouldn't even matter, really bring me down. I used to have my navel pierced (I took it out for a stupid reason that I won't get into now) and I wish and wish that I could get it pierced again. It just makes me cry to think that I'm too old to ever wear a navel ring again, for example. I look in the mirror and cringe, unable to believe what a fat pig I've turned into. I used to be young and pretty and have a nice figure... and it makes me so sad that I'll never have a nice figure again. I'll never be able to wear two piece bathing suits, or cute outfits again... these are just little things that upset me terribly.There are things about aging that really overwhelm me. I never got married and never had children. I feel really overwhelmed because I know that if I'm going to get married and have a family, I'm running out of time. I'm panic-stricken because I don't know if I want to have children, and I'm too old to be undecided. There are so many things I haven't done yet, and I'm not ready to have children or get married, but I realize that if I don't do it soon, it will be too late. I don't even know if I'm in the right career. I sometimes wish I'd chosen a different career, but if I change careers at my age, I won't be able to have children and get married as well. I just can't stop wishing I were young again. I'm not in a relationship, let alone married, and I don't know if I WANT children, and I'm freaking out becuase I feel like I'm out of time to decide.I wish this were all a bad dream. I miss my youth. I would never kill myself, but I can't enjoy my life either... all I want to do is weep. Am I crazy?
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female
reader, aka1968  +, writes (12 May 2009):
I think you are a little bit crazy as you are not keeping things in perspective. 30 is not old by any means and you certainly have enough time to switch careers, find a boyfriend and decide on children. Lots of people do it. I decided not to have children, but I feel like I didn't have to decide until after age 35.
It sounds like you have your health and/or you are not living in the gutter. Many people faced with life threatening illnesses such as cancer are grateful for each year that they get older. Perhaps none of your friends has passed away in their 20's or 30's so you haven't had to think of it from that perspective. Don't be one of those people that can't be thankful for each day until faced with the alternative. What is going to age you fast is lifestyle as the stuff you did in your 20's starts to show. But if you can take care of your mind and body and go with the flow, celebrate because the 30's are the best years out of them all.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): You are crazy. 30 is not old and you definitely have enough time to change your career, find a boyfriend, decide on kids, etc. People do it all the time! I am now 40 and I have never looked or felt better. I have decided not to have kids and it was a tough decision but I didn't feel I had to decide until I was around 38!
It appears you have your health and you do have a life somewhat. Remember that there are many people out there your age that are facing cancer, etc that pray and find every birthday a miracle. Please get over yourself, there are many more things in life to worry about than turning 30.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): What is your weight loss program, Jezebel?
Thanks everyone, btw.
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A
male
reader, hello_123 +, writes (12 May 2009):
You can't control time, that's controlled by some little alien behind mars.
You CAN control what movie you watch, what breakfast your gonna eat, how much time you spend infront of the TV or how much effort you put into your work.
Accept your fears, say it out loud and allow yourself to miss a good memory. Then, turn that feeling into a tool to work for you, set a goal, join a fitness center and work out in the mornings! Excercise wears you out of your worries, and calms you down like nothing else.
PS: It's ok to be 30. And its ok to be undecisive and single. Look at the world as a tool, take control of what you have and turn it into something beautiful.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): Girl I am right there with you. I will be 30 on the 27th of this month. I am refusing to acknowledge that day lol. I am so sad to realize that I have not accomplished what I wanted to have by the time I am 30. I too have gained alot of weight and lost my piercings. I am however trying to make the best of things. I have started a new weight loss program and lost nine lbs already. You have to make your own happiness I have learned. Set your goals and decide what you want to accomplish during your 30th year of life. I know it sounds cliche but look at this as a new beginning or clean slate. Happy birthday to you and good luck............J
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): you are what you want to be. There is a price to pay for success, a price to pay for working hard and a price to pay for staying the same. You cannot change your age, but you don't have to act it. Take control of what you can, exercise, diet, new clothes etc. I hated turning 30 and now I am almost 50 and having way more fun now than I did then! Get over it and get on with it. You have tons of life in you should you choose to live it!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (12 May 2009):
 Yep, you're a bit crazy, because you have not yet understood that life is better at your age than ever before.
Some people who are much older than you are enjoying their life way better than they whent hey were young. Of course, you can't enjoy yourself if you're afflicted by a severe disease, or seriously handicapped, or something like that; but if you can move around and live on your own, then there's no reason why you should envy younger people.
Your problem is that you can't take it easy and enjoy life. That doesn't have anything at all to do with young age.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (12 May 2009):
 Good Grief!!! 30??? middle aged??? c'mon!!!!
I don't think your crazy but honestly if you carry on thinking your life is over because your 30, then eventually it will drive you crazy. Life isn't about what age you are...it's about having experiences and rising up to challenges that come our way. If it were just down to the number of years passed then we wouldn't read about 75 year olds running marathons, or those few women who chose to have a baby past the age of 50...and on the other end of the scale we wouldn't hear about youngsters mastering the violin at the tender age of 5!!!
You feel sorry for yourself because you think you missed out somewhere and don't have the life you want!!! Sometimes you have to get a grip and change what you don't like. If you had a great bod in your 20's...you can get it back by working out and eating healthy, if you want it back so bad. Nothing in life thats worth having is without it's trials and tribulations. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, rejoice in the knowledge that you have control of your life and can change things.
You are also in conflict about your career and having children. Seeing as you arn't in a relationship, I'd go with a change of career. Who knows where that may take you and you might meet a loving partner along the way. Even at 35-40, you still have time to start a family. A lot can happen for you in the next ten years. Be positive...these could be the best years of your life to come!!!
Good luck!!!
Aunty Em xxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2009): you cant be serious darling ..
time has changed and personaly i have allways found women in their thirties ,forties and even fifties are far more sexier and hotter than 20'sh girls
and i think that allot of men agree with me 100% and i mean allot !!
and even those who might prefer young girls
wouldnt mind a woman who looks beautifull according to their standards no matter how old they were...
remember you age is how you look
good luck and all the best.
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A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (11 May 2009):
 hun. first of all you can get your navel pierced again. work out. ypur not old your 30. thats not bad. as for married and children?? you dont have to rush it. i know ppl that ate 30 and act like there 20. its ok you have youth inside of you sqrew age its just a stupid number some one invented to make everone feel bad. dont be sad there is so much still out there. one reason you feel so bad us b/c yohr making your self feel bad, instead of saying "im a fat pig", look in the mirror and find confidence, tell yourself you are beautiful, b/c i am sure you are. just breath...... my husband used hydroxycut and it works but you have to excersise while using it. get your hair done, little things that make a women feel good. be happy and enjoy life, everything will be ok just believe in yourself.
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