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I'm not good enough to be with but he says he can't be without me! Is he at it?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Friends, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 March 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 8 April 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Basically me and mt partner of three years split up a few months ago and I still see him on the odd occasion and sometimes end up sleeping with each other, but I'm still deeply in love with him, he is sort of seeing someone else and it's breaking me up inside, he just told me he is arranging to travel and I'm guessing it with this new girl. He tells me that he still has a soft spot for me still cares and this new new girl isn't in the same league as me and that he also can't be with me but can't be without me and likes to know I'm still there.

I want him to be happy but I can't stop thinking about him, crying about him and it's killing me not being with him and no matter how hard I try, I can't get over him!!! He's my best friend and believe my soul mate... Am I kidding myself???

View related questions: best friend, soulmate, split up

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hi, im the person who wrote this question, i recently spoke to my ex about this girl and he has told me he is not seeing her as he told her he cant be with her after what we went through, i was assuming things after all!!! thank you very much for the responses, you have helped out more than you think!! :0)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009):

yes, he is playing you, im afraid. he knows that you love him and he can tell you what he wants and you will only hear what you want. you have to break ties with this man, at least in a sexual nature. there is no reason for you two not being with each other if it was meant to be, but he is with someone else, who probably does not know and will not put up with it if she found out, you on the other hand will put up with him and he knows that. dump this guy once and for all and move on to find someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (2 March 2009):

Tisha-1 agony auntYes, I think you're kidding yourself. Watch his actions, don't listen to his words. He's moving on, he's got a new girl. He may have feelings for you but they are not enough to keep him with you. You deserve someone's full attention, not to be a once-in-a-while sex partner. He's being very selfish here, and maybe he knows it, maybe he doesn't. The only one who can look out for your best interests it you; he's abdicated that post and is on to the next girl.

Sorry for your grief over the break up, but it is time to start the healing process. Get your girlfrieds together and let them know you need their support now. Make sure you look within yourself to find why it is that you don't feel you can survive without him. We all should be able to stand on our own; that's a healthy way to think. Otherwise, we're parasites or leeches and that's NOT a healthy relationship style.

Start mourning this as a lost relationship and recognize that you will go through the common stages of grief. It's a process, it takes time, but you can and will come out the other side with the help of friends and confidence in yourself.

All the best.

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