A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I think I'm losing my best friend. We have been friends for 12 years, but lately we've been really strained. I moved hours away, and we hardly ever talk anymore. I had to come back for immediate eye surgery which I told her about and she calls me the next day to come drive to her house so we could hang out. When I told her of the severity of the surgery and that I wouldn't be able to drive for at least a month, she shrugged me off. My fiance tried to tell her how much I needed her and to come to my house (only 20 minutes away) but she just came up with a bunch of excuses of why she couldnt and I haven't heard from her since. This was 2 almost 3 months ago. From her Facebook she seems to have made a new best friend who she hangs out with and misses all the time. I'm really sad to think that she didn't care enough about me after all the years and everything we've been through. What should I do? I don't have hardly any friends anymore :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2012): I am so sorry you are going through this because I am too right now and I know how much it hurts. My friend and I had been good friends from when we were 5 until earlier this year (I am 27 now) when she made a new friend at work and pretty much dropped me completely. I couldn't get over it and kept wondering how she could stop caring so quickly when I really miss her, but I have had to accept that despite all we have been through she is selfish and not the friend I thought she was. Plus it was ok when we were on each others doorsteps, but the minute any effort was required to keep the friendship going she couldn't be bothered. I think your friend sounds exactly the same. I'm sure she is nice and does care, but she is too wrapped up in her own life and is sadly not willing to make an effort since you moved away. All I can suggest is you try to make new friends like I am, and remember that it says much more about her than it does about you. PS it's such a shame you are not in the UK or we could have hung out together haha! All the best.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 December 2012):
 sadly as we grow and mature we often outgrow our friends.
it happens... there is not much we can do about it.
at 14 my best friend was S. by 26 I had two kids and an ex husband and S and I had very little in common, we did not talk for 20 years.
She found me on facebook and now we have dinner once every couple of months...
are you returning to your home a few hours away soon? when you do perhaps it's time to join some local groups and make new friends.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (10 December 2012):
 Tell her exactly how you feel, if she really is a best friend then she will come through for you and patch things up.
If not, then she sounds like a bit of a waste of time.
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