A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Looking for some help on this. Hopefully someone can give me some ideas or help.Around 14 years ago I was dating a guy on and off. We met shortly after I had come out of a long term relationship. I liked him but my mind was still very much on the guy I had the long term relationship. As a result I kept wandering away from the new guy I was dating.At the time I just assumed we were just two people looking for company more than anything else. He didn't seem too into me then. The most we ever did was kiss.Anyway I started seeing a new guy and crossed paths again with the guy i seemed to rebound with. We had mutual friends so we were all sat in the pub together. He kept staring at me and at one stage made a comment about all the pretty girls dumping him.After that I didn't see him for many years till one christmas when I was travelling on the train, he was on the same train, he spotted me and smiled and started chatting to me. He went off to find a seat and it was the last time i saw him for several years.Myself and a mutual friend of his were remembering our time at college and he wanted to get in touch with this guy but was nervous about doing so. I decided to do it instead so i looked him up on a site where you can find old school friends. Sent him a message and didn't hear anything back for over a year. Then in september of this year I finally heard back from him.He seemed pleased to hear from me and we kept in touch, messaging through the site. Eventually he gave me his mobile phone number.We began to send text messages to one another.As time has gone on those text messages have become increasingly flirtatious. To date the text messages have started to become explicit which i don't mind but then he panics and steps back saying he doesn't want to do that sort of thing in text messages.We arranged to meet up one saturday but I panicked and cancelled as I was far too nervous.Eventually I agreed to meet but only because there would be another friend there.We met last night and we were alone for a little while before the other friend arrived.We got talking and things seemed ok and then at one point he asked if we could meet up alone so we could have more time to talk alone.He also told me i hadn't changed much.The other friend (a guy) turned up and we all started talking. They started talking about older women etc (im younger than them) and saying how great they are etc.We made eye contact at times and it would linger ever so slightly. Our friend admitted to me while he was in the bathroom that he noticed him looking at me quite alot.I hadn't noticed that.As the night wore on the friend we were with said that while i was in the bathroom that he said i wasn't as he remembered which isn't what he said to me.He also said the guy wasn't interested in me.So I'm a bit confused at this point. We all went home etc and i got some texts messages from the ex bf saying he thought I was attractive and was glad I thought he was attractive also.I'm just confused now and have some mixed messages that I guess I need to sort out.Any idea where I ought to go from here, I don't really want to make a fool of myself trying to rekindle something with someone who isn't interested.
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christmas, flirt, mixed messages, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe did show interest quite clearly. Not sure how telling me he wants to meet alone and quite a lot of interesting text messages suggests he wasn't interested...
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAsk oldersister - You think i've bought lame excuses? Elaborate?
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female
reader, Sarahha  +, writes (17 December 2008):
Maybe he is just scared. Maybe you two have grown as "friends" and he does'nt want to lose that relationship.
Perhaps, you two should remain friends and nothing more. Who knows what the future can bring. Just be there for each other.
Don't let this get in the way of your friendship!
A friend is the most valuable thing you can have.
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female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (17 December 2008):
 Just Stay focused you will find the right guy or he will find you dont move to fast and keep your chin up .. Chances are the guy you rebounded with wasnt the right guy but dont let that get you down life is to short enjoy it ..
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionA small update, i spoke to him today and he said that I'm not his type. Slightly strange considering I haven't changed much since we were a couple. He claims he prefers taller sporty women.
He was aware of how i looked last week when we were swapping text messages and his text messages were incredibly explicit and affectionate so something doesn't quite add up.
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