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female
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anonymous
writes: My friend lied to me last night. She is supposed to be living here and she had a job so she was like ok i will get done at 5:30 or 6 every day so we can hang out i mean since she is living here and all and she always told me she would never pick a guy over a friend but she did. He told her to just lie and say that she had to go see him because they got in a fight then she called and said she didn't have a ride and then i was like ok where does he live, you know my mom would go get you and she said she didn't know how to get there but she lied about that too and she just admitted she lied ..this is the message i got ..she's at my house right now but in a dif. room. It feels weird now so idk if i can continue to be friends. She wants to go see him tomorrow night too ...She admitted she talked about me too saying i was being a bitch when she was the one who lied.here's what she said ..... ok im sorry...but i did lie... i just really wanted to hang out with mike... i really missed him...and when i see you with Andrew every day it makes me miss him even more... and i just really wanted to hang out with him now before he goes back to Dannemora since i wont be able to get a ride to his house..even tho he says he can get a ride to mine.... but that will only be on the weekends...thats prolly why ive been talking about him a lot..cuz i miss him a lot.. i dont know why i lied... i NEVER lie..which is why i get so mad when you think im lying cuz i dont lie...so i do understand why you got so mad and i would have too... cuz today mike reminded me about the time i got ditched at the mall and how #### i felt....the only reason i wanna hang out with mike so much this week is because he has to go back to Dannemora like..sunday prolly.. i really still wanna be friends...i felt horrible last night... im really sorry... i really hope you arent too mad... i cant even believe i lied to you cuz like i said before i dont lie.. unless its to teachers...lol... but yeah im sorry ive been acting different lately...i didnt really notice it until you said something about it... i think i had something else to say but i cant remember right now so when i remember ill tell you im sorry again.. and ill understand if you want me to go home
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female
reader, Amethyst  +, writes (10 August 2006):
 I hate to be the one to say this, but it's something that should be said. To promise your friend that no man will come between you two is a horrible promise. It can never be kept. UNLESS, it's one of those, "I hate you. I like him too but he likes you!!" But love is something unexpected. No one can help falling in love, no matter how much they may try. And the realization will come one day that things that can't be controlled shouldn't be promised upon. Friends can't push off their chances at happiness just because they want to be friends forever. "Friends forever" is a term used loosely. Friends come and go with time, save a few lucky exceptions. But if you truly cared about your boyfriend and hadn't seen him in a long time, and it was like... your only shot, wouldn't you want to see him too?Now, she should have just told you flat out to begin with that she wanted to see him. He's not going to be in the area much longer, and you will, so it shouldn't pose too much of a problem to you. Buuut, she may have been afraid to hurt your feelings or something. That is a prime factor in many cases such as this. But hey, she DID admit to lieing to you, and apologized numerous times. So that must mean she felt horrible, and that it's not going to happen again. Try being a little looser with her, don't act upset if she says she wants to see him instead, make it easy for her to be honest with you. Wouldn't you try to find a easy way to get what you want if your friend seemed to get angry at something like that? So, try not to get overly jealous... ok? Jealousy is a horrible thing, and sometimes it can't be helped, but it can always be controlled. That could really ruin a friendship.Have a talk, and tell her to be honest. If she never lies, why start now? And tell her you won't be upset if she wants to see him, as long as she doesn't ALWAYS cancel anything you two plan just to visit him. Tell her it hurt you to know that she lied, but that so long as she promises never to do it again, and that she means it when she apologizes, you'll forgive her. (Assuming you feel all this, might I add.) (Well dang, my mom is now angry I'm up at 4am and is threatening to take this out. Sorry, I have to cut it shorter than intended, hope I got the point across well enough.)
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2006): You have a boyfriend? Then you must understand how she would feel.
I think forgiveness is in order here. I also think understanding on your part is in order as well.
Not to mention that when she made the promise of not letting a guy come between your friendship; it was not fair of you to expect her to do all the work and you do nothing.
You should be more understanding and if you want her friendship then be patient, be supportive, and have an open door for her as well as an open heart.
I think lying will make anyone feel horrible.
I don't think it was right to call her best friend a bitch and wow does she have balls to tell you; most people wouldn't dare say such a thing so this statement is her getting everything off her chest and wanting to save your friendship.
I don't think she would completely understand if you told her to go home; she would be further hurt and mad.
Her lies have the effect on your trust in her. Lies are very grevious.
Talk it all out. Listen. Any promises made should be with wisdom and in fairness and then kept. All relationships need this or they are set to fail.
Forgive. Work on it.
*hugs*
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