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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm at the end of my tether at the moment,me and my fiance have been together three years (I am his first sexual partner).Even though I fancy my fiancee very much, I cant come during sex with him, I can orgasm when I masturbate, however it takes me along time to (sometimes an hour). It may be the antidepressants that im taking that cause this. My fiance is now starting to get upset that I can never orgasm with him. However I have alot of naughty dreams and wake-up climaxing,Im very confused and have no one to talk to about this with.could someone please help?many thanks
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female
reader, Amethyst  +, writes (9 August 2006):
 Have you tried to explain to your fiance that due to your medications it's taking you a while to get there? If he really wants to please you, he needs to be patient. It's not your fault, you're trying to get there! I think he's really getting upset because it's pride shattering to a guy to know that he can't get you there... and if it's a constant thing.... imagine how that must feel?
Something I just recently read: Fingering seems to stimulate an orgasm sooner than regular sex. If he finds the... (I'm so sorry, I can't think of what it's called...) it's the... knot of nerves outside the vaginal opening... *sigh* Anyway, if he messes with it enough, it will stimulate an orgasm in most cases. Whatever you do differently when you masturbate could also help... tell him what to do. Basically, you need to discuss this with him... try different methods of getting there and see which work best. Maybe wake him up after one of those naughty dreams and get him going asap!
Also, it may a good idea to consult a doctor. Maybe ask the prescriber of your antidepressants if this is a side effect?
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