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I'm in love with two men...and I need to choose. Has anything else been through this?

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 August 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 28 September 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, *abygirlblue writes:

I am a 25 year old female that has been seeing a guy that is in prison for about 14 month's now.I love him so much and what to be with him in ever way I know this men for about 10 year's and when I was 18 we had been seeing one other for 3 year's on and off and than he got him self in with the bad things and I fell for someone other men and we went different was And I got married and had a little girl and was with my husband for about 4 and 1/2 year's be for he left me for some older woman that had a 15 year old daughter when he was 25 and she was 34.And I have not heard a word from him for over a year.

But a few month's after he left I got back in with this guy because I had never for got about him and he never left my tought's are my heart.And we stared out with him just being there for me but than we got toghter and have been this hole time.I just got to were I could go see him and I only get to see him behind glass right now but I LOVE to see him and be there for him we write and talk on phone when we can and He has been locked up for almost 5 year's now but he never forgot about me and say's he has alwasy loved and want's me to be his wife and he want's to make me daughter his when he get out.

I really fell crazy about him and he has all way's made me happy when we are together.But I know he loves me so much and want's to spend his life with me.But here is the problem He has 2 and half year's left Iam going 26 and want to have a make my family bigger if you know what I mean I want a men in my life on the outside and I want to have other baby.

But I cant let him go I am so crazy about him I think about him all the time and I really want him with me.But here is the other problem I have been seeing someone eles for awhile now and I have all kinds of felling for him and he is on the outside not in and he want's us to get married and have a kid together and make my daughter his to.Please help I don't know what to do I am in love with two men one is on the outside and the other is on the inside I cant seem to let go of him.And the guy I am seeing know's about him and he cant stand it because he know's how I fell about him and he know's I see him and talk to him and write him all the time.But he want's to stand bye my side anyway and do his best to make us work.Just like the one on the inside he know's about him but say's he cant do a thing about me sleeping with other men but he want's to stay by me and try to make it work and have me marry him.

He tells me he just wants me to be happy and want's me to have the best I can and if waiting for him is wroug for me than he has to let me go.But he will always love me.Please help me I cant make up my mind and they want me to pick and know what I really want to do.Keep in mind they both love me to and I know that someone will get hurt but I was hopeing someone has been though the same thing and could help me understand this and help me get though it.Thank to all that took the time to read this and I hope there is someone out there to help

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A female reader, GR* United States +, writes (28 September 2009):

I completley understand what you are going through. You basically have to think about who would be a better father for your child. Is the guy thats in prison truly changed because you dont want to bring crazy drug dealers around your kid.Maybe you could tell the man in prison that you need to see how you feel about everything when he gets out. You probably wont be able to know for sure until he gets out because 2 and a half years is a long time and a lot can change in that time. I would just tell both men that you will have to see how it all plays out. Ive had to go through this before and t was a really hard descsion to make. I decided to leave the man in prison but he is getting out in a few months and we are now back together.

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A female reader, EbonyBlossom United Kingdom +, writes (24 August 2009):

EbonyBlossom agony auntI kinda did. I fell for my best friend while I was taken. I didn't go with my gut instinct at first and it just hurt me. But I finally saw the light and followed my heart instead of my head and left my boyfriend for the other guy. And I can honestly say it is possibly the best decision I have made in my life to date.

Go with your heart.

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