A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm seriously at breaking point and I just don't know what to do. A female friend of mine, who is 12 years my senior, got me a job working for her. It's a great job and it pays really well. The problem is I'm completely and totally in love with her, before I started the job, and everyone tells me that she feels the same about me. However, it's a huge organisation that we work for and they would almost certainly hit the roof if one of their higher-ups started a relationship with the person below them. We've been away on business trips together that require us to stay in a hotel, seperate rooms, and it's a lot of fun. We've come so close to admitting what we feel for each other on almost every trip and co-workers have told us seperately to just go for it and to hell with what the business thinks. She's worked so hard to get where she is and they'd probably ask her to choose her job or me. If she chose me then she'd probably loose her job or I would. I'd prefer it if I did, if it came to that. Problem is, we haven't even talked about it together because it feels like such a forbidden subject. I've thought about just going for it and maybe keeping it a secret but I don't want to be in a relationship like that. Sometimes, I fantasise about quitting and then saying "Well, you're not my boss anymore." and then kissing her. I'm in love with her. There's no denying it. I actually phsyically hurt because I love her so much. Co-workers tell me that she feels the same. What should I do?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 August 2012):
The first thing you need to do is to find out how she feels, and see whether she wants to be with you. So just do as the co-workers say and go for it.
The second thing to do, just in case, is to make sure your CV and all that is up to date. Because if the company doesn't like it, then you'll be looking for another job. Also, if you two do start dating, then it might well be preferable that you don't work together anyway.
But, for Heaven's sake, just go to this woman and tell her how you feel.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2012): The company doesn't need to know about your personal life, and neither do co-workers.
Just find a balance between the professional and personal side of the relationship, eg: remain professional at all times at work so nobody suspects a change in circumstances.
Then what you do during out of work hours is nobody's business but yours and hers.
Good luck!
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