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I'm in love but I don't know what to do?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 August 2018) 1 Answers - (Newest, 6 August 2018)
A female United Kingdom age 16-17, anonymous writes:

I've known this boy since we were kids and I have never felt the way I do towards him to anyone before. I can fully be myself around him and he doesn't judge me for being me. I can almost act exactly the same with him as I do with my best friend. I have a feeling that he might like me back but that could be my hope to be with him clouding my judgement. He's like having a best friend that you fancy and are attracted to. I do believe that I'm in love with him because no matter what small annoying things he does I can see through his imperfections and still would give anything to be with him. The problem though is that I'd rather stay how I am now with him which is really close friends than pucker up the courage to tell him how I feel and for it to just be thrown back in my face and for us to no longer be friends. I think that I'd really struggle living without him as he makes me so happy and how I am now I think maybe be the most content I have ever been. Should I risk telling him?

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (6 August 2018):

You are at an age when you are exploring and experiencing feelings you never had before. They can be so confusing! It is very common to grow crushes on best-friends; but like you said, you don't want it thrown-back in your face, if he doesn't feel the same as you do about him.

It's easy to feel a crush; because he knows you, and he's nice to you. The problem is, knowing him for so long and being so familiar. You can be yourself. You wonder what it would be like to kiss or be romantic? It's natural, but not always appropriate. The crush is mostly curiosity!

Teenage hormones are powerful. They make you fall in-love every other week! You have a crush on this guy, or that girl; and then it just fades-away. It vaporizes just like steam! Sometimes you're crushing on two or three people all at the same-time!

It's kind of tricky; because crushes can sometimes feel like love, but that's not always the case. He's a boy and you're a girl. You know at some point you're going to want to date and have a steady-boyfriend. It's tough when you feel something for someone; but can't come right-out and say it. It's embarrassing and scary. "What if I tell him how I feel, and he laughs? What if things get awkward, and he doesn't want to hangout together anymore?"

That's the risk you take when you want to turn a friendship into a romance. Especially if the other person seems totally oblivious! If he felt the same, he should send some signals different from usual. He'll find a way to let you know if he feels differently from just being a friend. If your friend doesn't; it's best to leave things as they are. At least you know he does love you as a friend, and he's a good friend.

Another problem is, you might talk him into turning it into a romance. If it quickly comes to an end; he may not want to go back to being friends again. You might feel jealous if he wants to see other girls.

If he does suddenly ask to take you on a date, you're home free! If he never flirts, never looks at you with longing eyes, and never tells you how pretty you are. If you've seen him flirt with other girls; but he has never been that way with you. It's safe to believe he doesn't feel that way about you.

One thing for certain, he feels you are a lovely friend; but he might not have romantic-feelings. Crushes on friends occurs more often with girls than boys. They are quicker to explore their complex romantic-feelings. It's convenient when there's somebody you know and trust close-by that you can experiment on.

Girls mature faster, and they are more likely to explore their deeper-emotions and feelings. Boys are quick to think she's hot; but are more likely to explore their sexual-urges. It takes guys a little longer before we think above the waist. Girls daydream about romance and relationships; and guys just don't spend a lot of time studying those kind of feelings. We crush too! Not same as girls! Maybe he feels that way, but doesn't quite know how to show them.

Stay on the safe-side and remain friends. Maybe when he's a little older; he'll get the nerve to show it, if he feels it.

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