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I think my dad should take legal action, but how to convince him?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 August 2018) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 August 2018)
A female age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My dad opened 2 companies about 12 years ago, everything were going really well and we were financially great. The past 2 years were hell, my dad's companies are failing to sell products as before. The 2 companies failed, and we had to close 1 company. Now we are stuck with this 1 company, and my dad is putting his soul into it, he can't find good employees since my dad can only pay them what he can, he sold his car 1 week ago, and we sold our farm months ago in order to save up. My brother and my mom and also me are working to afford our needs, but they aren't enough to pay all our needs but we are doing our best. My grandmother is a millionaire, and she has been acting selfish, she literally knows how my dad is struggling, and yet she refuses to do anything, all she do is spoil herself with shitty expensive clothes, travel,and changing her house decorations ever few weeks. She receives all the money from the company that my dead grandfather owned, and she gains more than $5,000 every month, and she spends them all on herself. My grandfather has multiple mansions that are just abandoned. My grandfather gave my dad 1 mansion before he died, however my grandmother gets mad and threaten that she will not speak to my dad ever again if he ever sold it, she even has the keys, the papers and everything related to this mansion and refused to give them to my dad. My dad wanted to take some legal actions however he feels guilty that he would make an old woman go through this. My grandmother just says: when i die, you can sell it. My dad is just depressed of that, because if we sold the mansion, were would investigate in another project our at least save or company. I want to tell my dad to take some legal actions, how can i convince him to do so?

View related questions: depressed, grandmother, money

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2018):

Get on with your youth and let your dad get on with middle years and grandma with old age...life will turn out as it turns out. Many of us are not given diddly squat in our life, not saying you have not worked hard, i am sure you all have, especially with a farm, but just go with the flow and maybe you could enjoy a simple life that's very rich.

Enjoy the simple years of youth before old age is upon you.

Bricks and stones will mean nothing one day, to any of you.

Have your youth and health and be grateful for that, be grateful that you have 'had' and count your blessings in what you may 'get', while many of us have 'had' nowt and 'get' nowt. LOL.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2018):

First, your grandmother's money is hers to do with as she wants. You have no right to demand she bail your father or your family out of some very bad financial decisions if she does not want to. Stop judging her decisions to buy what she does.

Your father will have to take ownership of his failing business. If he cannot afford to pay for employees, then he will either have to work all the hours himself, or close the doors and declare another business failed. End of story.

As for the real estate that he is the heir to, that could be another story. If it is actually owned by your father, and the deed is in his name, then it is baffling that your grandmother would be the only one with keys. Are you absolutely sure that this property is owned solely by your dad? If it is, then he can sell it as he wants, and your grandmother has no say over that. Just as you have no say over how she spends her money. If it is not really your dad's until your grandmother passes (which can be how property is given sometimes), then he just will have to wait.

If it is his and he wants to sell the place, he will need to get the paperwork in order to do so, and change the locks. I don't think you can, or should, convince him to do anything though. It might be that he wants to wait to keep a better relationship with your grandmother, since maybe he wants more of an inheritance when she passes away. But mainly, you are a child in this. You should never have been exposed to these issues in your family in the first place. It was wrong of your parents and grandparents to put this on you at all. It is not something you have any control over, or any ownership in. Do your best to move on from it, and not get any further involved in your family members' financial affairs.

I think what you can take away from this is not to make the same mistakes as your parents when it comes to finances. Make sure you are always able to take care of yourself financially, and do not rely on others, even parents and grandparents, to bail you out. Be self reliant and live within your means.

Hope this helps,

R

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (3 August 2018):

Honeypie agony auntYour grandmother's money is HERS and she can do with it as she pleases. Maybe she doesn't want to pour money in something she can see isn't working out (your dad's companies). She might even have a financial adviser telling her NOT to do so.

I presume that your dad has a lawyer or know a lawyer or can look up and FIND a lawyer. So IF he wants to take legal actions it is UP to him.

I also presume that the companies he has run are his legally and not yours. So again, HE can do whatever he pleases with them. You keep saying "we" but this is not really for you to make any of these choices. Not to sell a house, not to condemn your grandmother for having money - all you can do is be supportive of your parents. THEY are the grown ups and THEY need to sort out what they can and will do.

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