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anonymous
writes: hi there this may sound extreme to some of you but i want some practical advise. me and my partner are planning a threesome with another male and i want my partner who is also male to be fully envolved which he wants to be and this is his first time at fullfilling his fantasy the only problem is i am worried that he may enjoy it too much and leave me out of this experience or that he won't enjoy it and keep up the pretense for me. it is something we both want to try and are eagerly awaitin and yes before you ask we have talked at length about this. maybe this is pre threesome nerves we have never done this sort of thing before but any usefull advise would be appreciated.And if your out to judge us DON'T send a reply as we are all consenting adults in the privacy of our home and we ain't hurting you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): I also am scared,Did things work out?
A
female
reader, Jendorset  +, writes (31 January 2007):
Only do this, if you dont mind your relationship being ruined. Some people can happily have threesomes. But some people are not strong enough. If you do this, and it all goes ok...is going to want two females next time. But it would only be fair if he asked. My big fear about having a threesome ? The other two people meeting up behind your back to have sex together. Ive heard that happens alot. He may even leave you for the other person. Or like i said, would you be happy to do it with another woman. Who he may leave you for. You may it enjoy it and everything may go well. Or your may turn completely against the idea when your with the other guy. I just really would NOT risk it. I dont think loseing the relationship is worth it. If your worried he will leave you out. Then theres absolutely no way you should do this. People should only do this if there 100% secure. Which you cant be if your worried he will leave you out. Just listen to your feelings and see what they tell you.
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (31 January 2007):
 I must say, I fully agree with the other aunts on this one.
I was in a solid relationship for many years and she wanted to invite another female into the mix. They were best friends and discussed fantasies one night while they were out together. As it turned out, both admitted to having lesbian feelings towards each other. Leanne, my exes friend was single and my ex joked that she would be willing to share me in a threesome.
We later discussed this and were all quite turned on by the thought. Planning and anticipation lasted a couple of weeks.
The thought of her with another female turned me on a lot and I couldnt wait for it to happen........then it did.
After a few days, we became distant with each other. Neither of us could 'forgive' each other for being intimate with another person and the usual questions and accusations started to creep in. Was she better than me at that? Did she turn you on more than me? Bet you loved f***ing her, didnt you? Animosity built up to the point where we both felt so angry towards each other, that we had no choice but to split up.Things got bad between my ex and Leanne, to the point of them even becoming enemies for a while. Now they just dont talk at all.
After this happened, I became quite insecure in relationships and started to feel like I was not enough for somebody. This affected later relationships also, as I felt that I would always be cheated on.
If you have doubts now, then let it just remain a fantasy. Introducing another person into a solid relationship will only weaken what you already have. Keep your relationship strong. If he wants to have the 'male' sensation, why not consider buying sex toys, such as a strap on. Then you can do him, you can be 'the other guy'.
Let this remain a fantasy and not ruin what you already have.
Best of luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2007): I would be the last person in the world to judge you BUT please don't do it. Let it remain a fantasy. I agree with AskEve. I tried it, years ago with a previous partner and his friend, it wasn't anything like i had imagined. I found it grubby and distasteful. I wanted my bloke to ask me not to do it, he didn't! But he did think i preferred the other one to him. We got over this, never did it again but we did split up a couple of years later. I cannot say that this contributed on his part but it did on mine. Be careful. If you have issues now then don't do it. Let it remain a fantasy and remember all c*cks are basically the same, you are not seeing or doing anything different just with an extra one!
Take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007): Just an observation, but you are already concerned and jealous and you have not even done the deed, Is your boyfriend/husband a bi-sexual, are you? Becasue I have always heard that if there is more than one penis in the room it is about homosexuality, maybe true, maybe not, but I would find it hard to be in the prescence of another woman and my man, as I am completely heterosexual and it would be an absolute turn off for me, so that is my frame of reference.....and you are worried he will like it too much?
Not that jealousy and insecurity never enters monogomous relatioinships, it does, but it is not over the blatant act of putting yourself in a position where you are sharing your intimacy with a third partner, it is sort of like hitting your hand with a hammer and asking why it hurts so much, why do it in the first place?
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (30 January 2007):
 Unfortunately it's the risk you take with a threesome. I'm not going to tell you not to do it because like you said you're an adult and you're doing it in privacy but I would suggest that if you're feeling insecure before the deed that you're probably gonna feel even worse when you see this guy doing things with your husband.
CD
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (30 January 2007):
 My advice to you is this... (and I AM talking from experience here)"let the fantasy REMAIN a fantasy as the reality is never the same."
A long time ago lol I was with a man (we'd been together 2 years) and we decided to have a 3-some. We both wanted it and were extremely curious and excited about how it would be. We were both solid in our relationship and loved and trusted one another implicitly. It went okay on the night but afterwards my partner and I had so many arguments about it, he was jealous as hell and had me go into detail about every aspect of it. "Did you enjoy him touching you?" "Does he make you feel better than I do?" The questions just went on and on. Into the bargain the other male wouldn't stop texting me and was telling me he loved me and was desperate to see me again. Two cell phones and a thousand arguments later my partner of 2 years and I split up! It was a BIG mistake and I would tell anyone to think about it VERY carefully before trying something like this. My partner and I thought WE were solid in our relationship but the pangs of jealousy from him were just too much to bear.
Just bear that in mind okay? I hope this helps. If you want to talk to me some more about this just email me.
Eve
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