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I'm having my first crush and I don't know what to do

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Question - (1 July 2007) 7 Answers - (Newest, 11 July 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *oywivacrush writes:

I am a 14 yrold boy with a first ever crush. Its so bad that i cant sleep! My crush is on my best friend's 15yr old sister. Im fat and shy. I dont have the courage to ask her out or ask for my best friends permission. I dont know what to do.I know that im probably to young or i should wait to grow up but i cant as i cannot help my feelings for people.

View related questions: best friend, crush, shy

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (11 July 2007):

love-him agony auntHi babe, i think you should try and make a go of it.. i think be friends first, and then see what could happen :) , I hope i helped. Mail me if you would like to talk x x

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A male reader, boywivacrush United Kingdom +, writes (5 July 2007):

boywivacrush is verified as being by the original poster of the question

UPDATE

i just discovered that this girl has already got a bf... i dont want to hurt her... also, we are good mates. should i stay mates?

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A male reader, boywivacrush United Kingdom +, writes (3 July 2007):

boywivacrush is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ok thanks anon, im starting a paper round soon, so that might help! I allready talk to her as a mate, me, my best friend, his sister and my other friend are thinking about starting a band! that might help a bit

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007):

Oh dear boy, first and foremost, this is completely normal, to have such strong feelings for your new crush that you can't sleep and constantly think of her. Before you even consider this crush and how you feel about her, you need to make sure you feel comfortable with yourself; meaning, are you afraid she'll reject you? (And I know the answer to that is a big YES), so in this case you need to ask yourself: why will she reject me? If you are unhappy with yourself or things about yourself, for instance, your weight and your shyness, start with these things. Focus on being healthy and build up your confidence; that way, when you do feel enough courage to spend more time with her and actually talk to her, by then you won't feel so bad if she does reject you. And she may not if you show her who you really are, with your newfound confidence. Does this make sense? I hope so. Bottom line: you need to be happy with yourself if you don't want to risk being hurt. Good luck, don't give up!!

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A female reader, LauraE United Kingdom +, writes (2 July 2007):

Honest answer? Probably nothing is going to happen between you - 15 year old girls tend to fancy 17 year olds. Now that you have completely ignored that remark, we can get to what you are going to do about it. The answers are

1. Do not mention it to your mate.

2. Don’t make a big deal of it, even if it feels like a big deal.

Next time you are round there, smile and say hi, and the next time, and the one after that. Eventually, if she likes you, one of you will easily be able to say something more and who knows? Then you worry about what your mate will think, but don’t worry about dealing with that until you need to. At the very least this will be practise at handling your feelings which will stand you in good stead for the next time. The other thing that you won’t want to hear at the moment is that first crushes don’t last, so the pain will be short lived.

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A male reader, boywivacrush United Kingdom +, writes (2 July 2007):

boywivacrush is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks! even tho he is my best friend, i cant talk to him about it. il try starting a conversation sum time soon and update here

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A female reader, sarahbeth101 United States +, writes (2 July 2007):

well if your bf is really a good friend you should be able to tell him you like his older sister and he should kind of give her the hint. but if you go to his house kinda strike up a conversation with that girl, and maybe you 2 will end up being together. so don't give up :)

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