A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have 2 best friends whom I love to bits. One of them, Clare, is closer to me than the other one is, we are more like sisters than best friends. The other day I heard Clare bitching about our other best friend to someone and it was wrong because our other friend hadnt really done anything to deserve it. I told our other friend about it and she asked Clare why she had been bitching about her and Clare denied it. Now Clare wont speak to me, and I think it because I told the other friend. She wont reply to my texts or answer her phone to me but she hasnt actually told me why she's being like this, I can only assume its because I told our friend what she had said. Now i'm made to feel bad but I dont think Ive done anything wrong. Maybe I shouldnt have told our other friend but I think she had a right to know as there was no need for the bitchiness. Im really upset that Clare wont speak to me now. We've never really fallen out before and Im gutted that I have probably lost a very good friend. But am I in the wrong here? I dont know what to do.
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female
reader, MissKin +, writes (23 March 2008):
 It's okay to stick up for your friend that's for sure but to be honest... I don't think I would have told my friend what was being said about her, simply because I know it's considered 'stirring' when someone bitches to you (or you hear them bitching) and then you go and tell the person the bad words are about. so i tend to leave it be. However, you are right - your friend DID have a right to know. Friends always bitch about friends -it's never supposed to get back to them but oh well. We should never bitch then. Think about it this way though, do you really want to be friends with someone who bitches about their friends behind their backs? How do you know she isn't doing the same behind your back? If she's this type of person do you really want to be associated with her in the first place? It was good of you to tell your friend and you shouldn't feel bad for it. Not much you can really do about the consequences of your friend not talking to you tho i don't think. Sorry. It's not fair for you to feel bad when you did the right thing. Don't worry. she was in the wrong. Take care,
A
female
reader, Emmy-Lou +, writes (23 March 2008):
 I think yo were completely right to stick up your friend, especially when you knew she didn't deserve it. That shows a lot of loyalty in your friendship and your other friend will always be ready to stand up for you now!
It seems tha Clare obviously didn't hold true to your friendship since she was so dismissive. I know it's hard to let her go, but try and refrain from texting and ringing her, give her time and she will come back to you.
Hope this helps and good luck.
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